Navigating passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace

Picture this: You walk into work only to be greeted by passive-aggressive behavior when your colleague says, “Oh, look who finally decided to show up on time for once.” Even though you’re always on time, their comment implies otherwise, which can feel frustrating.

Working alongside passive-aggressive coworkers can be exhausting. Instead of clear communication, they may use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or indirect behaviors that create tension and frustration. Over time, this can make work so stressful and impact job satisfaction.

Dealing with a passive-aggressive coworker can be frustrating, but you don’t have to deal with it alone. There are ways to handle the situation and create a better work environment. A therapist can help you develop strategies to respond calmly, set boundaries, and address the behavior in a way that supports a healthier work environment.

Spotting passive-aggressive behavior at work

Passive-aggressive behavior often comes from unexpressed emotions like anger, sadness, insecurity, or a fear of conflict. Some research suggests it can sometimes be associated with anxiety, depression, stress, and somatic symptom disorder.

Instead of addressing issues directly, coworkers engaging in passive-aggressive behaviors express their frustration in sometimes-subtle ways like procrastinating, using sarcasm, or leaving tasks unfinished.

This behavior can look different depending on whether it’s coming from a boss or coworker. Here are some key signs to watch for:

• Indirect communication: A passive-aggressive boss might use sarcasm instead of giving direct feedback. For example, instead of saying what they really think, they might comment, “Oh, we’re doing things that way now? Sure, let’s go with it,” leaving you unsure if they approve or not.
• Passive-aggressive emails: Digital communication can be just as sneaky as a conversation. Phrases like “Per my last email” can feel like a subtle dig, suggesting you weren’t paying attention. 
• Playing the victim: A coworker might hide their frustration with a snarky comment like, “Must be nice to have such an easy workload.” This can make it seem like you don’t work hard while hinting that they’re overworked.
• Covert undermining: If you’re a leader, an employee might take a passive-aggressive jab at your management style with a sarcastic joke like, “I love how priorities change by the hour — it really keeps me on my toes.” It sounds lighthearted but really expresses frustration about shifting expectations without offering real feedback.
• Silent pushback: A colleague might agree to a task but then drag their feet, do it half-heartedly, or even give you the cold shoulder. Instead of addressing an issue head-on, they let their actions do the talking.
• Backhanded compliments: These remarks sound nice at first but have a hidden insult. For example, a coworker might tell a new hire, “You’re catching on quickly. I mean, I was worried at first, but you’re getting there.” It seems encouraging but actually suggests they thought the person wasn’t capable in the beginning.

Sometimes, passive-aggressive behavior goes beyond being annoying and turns into workplace bullying. Here are signs that passive aggression has crossed a line into bullying: 

• It’s repeated and targeted. One-off remarks can be annoying, but if someone constantly makes snide comments, withholds important information, or tries to undermine you, it becomes bullying.
• It hinders your work performance. If a coworker regularly “forgets” to copy you on emails or doesn’t tell you about meetings, making it harder for you to do your job, it could be considered sabotage.
• It leads to isolation. When passive-aggressive behavior is used to leave you out, exclude you from team conversations, or make you feel unwelcome, it’s no longer just petty — it’s bullying.
• It creates emotional distress. If a coworker’s snide comments or cold treatment leave you feeling anxious, stressed, or embarrassed, it may be considered bullying. 
• It becomes a power move. Workplace bullying can look like when someone uses passive-aggressive behavior to assert control, intimidate, or belittle others. 

In some cases, a coworker might accuse you of passive-aggressive behavior. Before you answer, consider whether you’re:

• Practicing direct communication: Do you say what you mean in a respectful manner? Or have you used sarcasm or thinly veiled jokes to get your point across? 
• Checking your intentions: Are you trying to prove a point instead of solving a problem?
• Being honest about your frustration: If something is bothering you, do you address it openly? Or do you hint at it and hope your coworker notices?

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Cycles of passive aggression in the workplace

Passive-aggressive behavior isn’t just an interpersonal issue. It often grows in workplaces where open communication feels risky, stress runs high, and competition overshadows teamwork. If left unchecked, it creates a toxic cycle that drains morale, weakens collaboration, and kills productivity.

Here’s what fuels passive aggression in the workplace:

• Lack of direct communication: When employees don’t feel safe expressing concerns, they may resort to backhanded compliments, sarcasm, or silent resistance.
• Fear of retaliation: If employees believe that honest feedback will result in punishment, exclusion, or job insecurity, they may hold back and release their frustration in passive-aggressive ways.
• Toxic competitiveness: If employees feel they must compete instead of working as a team, they may use subtle digs or underhanded tactics to get ahead.
• Lack of recognition or appreciation: Feeling undervalued can lead to resentment, which often comes out through passive-aggressive behavior instead of direct communication.
• Poor conflict resolution practices: A workplace that avoids difficult conversations or ignores problems is an environment where passive aggression becomes the default response.
• Unapproachable leadership: If leaders are distant or dismissive, employees may feel unheard and express their dissatisfaction through snide remarks or disengagement.

Seven ways to handle passive-aggressive coworkers

Dealing with passive-aggressive behavior at work can be emotionally draining, but you can protect your peace and keep things professional in several ways. Consider these tips: 

• Keep records. Document key conversations, assignments, and deadlines. If a coworker later denies something or shifts blame, you’ll have proof to back up your claims.
• Take care of yourself. Dealing with a passive-aggressive boss or coworker can be exhausting. Prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and, if the situation becomes unbearable, consider looking for new opportunities. 
• Stay professional and calm. Don’t let their behavior get an emotional reaction out of you. Stay focused, composed, and professional to avoid escalating the situation.
• Address the behavior directly (if safe). If their behavior causes issues, call it out in a neutral way. For example, if your boss makes a sarcastic remark about your work, ask: “Can you clarify what you’d like me to improve?”
• Set boundaries. If your boss tries to dump last-minute work on you, push back politely by saying, “I can work on this, but I’ll need to shift this with another task. Which should take priority?”
• Get instructions in writing. If your boss gives unclear directions, follow up with an email requesting clarification. This prevents miscommunication and shifting the blame.
• Know when to seek help. If the situation turns toxic and affects your well-being, consider taking it to your human resources department or higher management. Have your documentation ready to support your case.

By handling passive-aggressive behavior with clarity and professionalism, you can maintain your sanity and protect your work environment. If work stress is affecting your productivity and mental well-being, therapy can provide a safe space to process your experiences and develop coping strategies.

Find care with Rula

Working with a passive-aggressive boss or colleague can be exhausting and stressful. The indirect hostility, sarcasm, or subtle undermining can create a toxic work environment, making it difficult to do your job well or feel valued. Working with a therapist can help you set boundaries with work and find healthy coping strategies. 

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

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