What is a marriage and family therapist, and what does an LMFT do?

In so many ways, we are shaped by our relationships. From childhood to adulthood, the connections we share with others leave a lasting impact on our identities and the way we relate to the world around us. Some of our most powerful and influential relationships are those we share with our families and romantic partners. So when these relationships become strained, many people turn to a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) for help. 

This form of talk therapy focuses on relationships and each person’s role in contributing to the current family or couple/partner relationship. Instead of focusing blame on one person or behavior, LMFTs help families and loved ones identify specific parts of the dynamic that need to change to promote healing and strengthen connections.

What is marriage and family therapy (MFT)?

Unlike other forms of therapy or psychiatric care that focus on an individual’s needs, marriage and family therapy therapy (MFT) is designed to treat the family unit or the couple/partners. MFT can also be short-term in nature.

Some other key details set MFT apart from other types of therapy:

• It’s designed to be solution-focused instead of focusing on analyzing the past.
• Participants collaboratively identify specific therapeutic goals that feel attainable in the short and long term.
• It begins with “the end in mind” instead of being a more open-ended therapeutic experience.

This approach represents a shift from the ways mental health concerns were treated before the mid-20th century. Before that time, individual treatment was the main focus. When MFT came about, providers began to consider how people are influenced by their environment and relationships. 

Now, professionals consider MFT an effective treatment for everything from marital and partnerships conflict to parenting issues and various mental health conditions. 

What a marriage and family therapist does

If you’ve never attended MFT before, you might wonder what the experience will be like. First, it’s important to know that LMFTs can work with both individuals and groups of people — including families, partners, and couples. But no matter who attends MFT, the focus will be on the ways that family or relationship dynamics impact each person and the system as a whole. 

Like other types of therapists, LMFTs begin by gathering information about your needs, history, and therapy goals. If you’re attending MFT as part of a couple or family, your therapist might speak to you and other members individually at various points during your work together. This is so that they have a chance to hear each person talk about their emotions and experiences outside of the group. Your MFT will also evaluate the relationships and help you explore how these relationships affect everyone’s mental health. 

An MFT treatment plan will reflect the unique needs of each family, couple, or partnership. But it typically involves addressing issues like:

• Communication
• Trauma
• Family changes like divorce or separation
• Grief
• Substance use issues
• Or any other concerns that impact the clients’ relationships

Many LMFTs use concepts from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help their clients identify and replace unhelpful thoughts and behaviors with healthier ones. Research shows that CBT can help reduce conflict and promote positive, systemic change.

The benefits and limitations of marriage and family therapy

Marriage and family therapy has many benefits, including:

• Improving relationships and communication
• Addressing and resolving deep-rooted issues
• Helping people solve specific problems or navigate specific situations
• Helping couples or families identify their strengths 
• Interrupting and correcting dysfunctional patterns 
• Strengthening the couple or family’s problem-solving skills

But it’s MFT isn’t always the right treatment for every situation. For example, MFT may not be effective when:

• Some key members of the group are unable or unwilling to attend therapy consistently.
• Some key members show up physically but are unable or unwilling to attempt to open up emotionally.
• There is the potential for therapy to cause additional conflict that could result in harm.
• Active abuse is taking place.* 

*Going to therapy with an abusive partner can result in harm for the person being abused. Instead, people experiencing abuse should be provided with other resources or referrals.

Find a therapist with Rula

Families are complicated, and no intimate relationship is perfect. But no matter the reason you’re interested in marriage and family therapy, we want to make it easier to access whatever care you need to heal your most important connections. 

At Rula, we know the process of finding a new therapist can seem time-consuming and overwhelming. So we created a therapist-matching program and digital therapy platform to help couples, families, and partners find support from a world-class therapist who takes their insurance in just a few clicks. Plus, our network of over 10,000 therapists means you can be seen as soon as tomorrow. 

Find a therapist with Rula