Is it social anxiety disorder or shyness?

Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that’s characterized by an intense and persistent fear of being watched and judged by other people. By some counts, there are 15 million adults in the U.S. with social anxiety, making it the second most commonly diagnosed anxiety disorder in the country.

That said, not everyone who feels uncomfortable in social situations has social anxiety. Some people just feel shy or quiet in certain situations, especially with unfamiliar people. Although social anxiety and shyness are sometimes used interchangeably, learning to recognize the differences between the two can help people access the right resources to live a more fulfilling life. 

The difference between social anxiety and shyness

Social anxiety, also called social phobia, is a diagnosable mental health condition that causes intense fear or discomfort in social situations. Shyness, on the other hand, is a personality trait, or a way that people might behave in certain situations. Shyness can make social situations difficult, but it’s not severe enough to disrupt people’s relationships, daily functioning, and quality of life in the same way that social anxiety can.

Three questions to help determine if its shyness or social anxiety

1. How intense is your fear of social and public situations?

People who are shy feel tense, awkward, or nervous in unfamiliar situations or around new people. They might even experience physical symptoms, like blushing or an upset stomach. 

But for people with social anxiety disorder, public interactions cause extreme anxiety, distress, and self-consciousness. Physical symptoms include rapid heart rate, muscle tension, trembling, and dizziness. If you’ve felt this way for at least six months and are struggling to manage daily tasks, you may have social anxiety disorder.

2. How much does it interfere with your day-to-day life?

People with social anxiety struggle with everyday situations, such as calling a friend on the phone, using public restrooms, or eating in front of other people. They may avoid going on dates or interviewing for a new job because they’re scared of being humiliated, judged, or rejected.

While shyness also impacts people’s daily choices, the effects typically aren’t as severe. For example, people who are shy may avoid being the center of attention and prefer one-on-one interactions to group events, but it doesn’t necessarily prevent them from engaging in daily activities or pursuing their goals.

3. What causes these feelings? 

Shyness may be genetic, but it is thought to be largely influenced by social factors. Conversely, social anxiety is linked to several possible causes, including having a timid personality as a child and a family history of social anxiety or other anxiety disorders. Experts also believe that certain environmental factors can increase a person’s risk of developing social anxiety disorder. For example, your risk of social anxiety may be higher if you have parents who were critical, abusive, or overprotective. 

Can shyness lead to social anxiety disorder?

Yes, it’s possible for shyness to turn into social anxiety disorder. Research shows that children who are shy or timid as toddlers are more likely to develop social anxiety disorder later in life.

That said, there’s some debate over the exact relationship between shyness and social anxiety. One theory is that shyness and social anxiety disorder exist on a spectrum, with social anxiety being “extreme shyness” on the high end of the spectrum. Other experts believe that even people who are extremely shy don’t meet the criteria for social anxiety.

Seven tips for managing shyness and social anxiety

If you’re shy or experiencing symptoms of social anxiety, consider meeting with a mental health professional. More than one-third of people with social anxiety live with symptoms for 10 years before getting help, which can affect your relationships, career, and overall quality of life. Unmanaged social anxiety is also linked to an increased risk of suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, and financial issues. 

Many people with social anxiety disorder benefit from talk therapy, medication, or a combination of the two. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is considered a first-choice treatment for social anxiety because it helps people understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors contribute to their social distress. 

Exposure therapy is another technique that therapists use to help people overcome fear and anxiety associated with social situations. Medication can also be effective for treating social anxiety, but it’s best to discuss your specific symptoms and goals with a psychiatric provider.

In addition to therapy and medication, here are seven other strategies to manage social anxiety disorder and reduce shyness. 

1. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness meditation can help reduce anxiety while increasing self-esteem. Other mindfulness activities include deep breathing exercises, body scanning, and yoga.
2. Show yourself compassion. Some people are naturally reserved in social situations, and that’s OK. Be kind to yourself during difficult moments, and remember that shyness and social anxiety don’t define who you are as a person.
3. Journal for your mental health. Journaling can help you monitor your feelings, understand what causes your anxiety, and reflect on healthy and effective coping strategies. 
4. Develop your social skills. It may take some time, but developing your social skills — like active listening or having go-to conversation starters — may help reduce shyness. 
5. Avoid addictive substances. When learning to manage social anxiety, experts suggest limiting substances that can contribute to anxiety, like alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and other substances.
6. Confide in family and friends. If you struggle with social situations, consult trusted family and friends for advice and emotional support. Having access to a support network can improve your self-esteem, resiliency, and confidence. 
7. Join a support group. The idea of connecting with a group may be daunting, but support groups offer a safe space to share your concerns, swap advice, and support others facing similar challenges. 

Find care with Rula

Many people feel shy in certain social situations. But if it interferes with your ability to function and connect with others, it may be time to see a mental health professional. Rula makes it easy to find a therapist who can help you manage social anxiety and associated mental health concerns. In just a few seconds, we can connect you with a provider who accepts your insurance and specializes in anxiety. If necessary, we can also refer you to a psychiatric provider for medication management.

Find a therapist with Rula