Supporting students with social anxiety disorder at school  

Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that causes intense fear of social situations, public interaction, and scrutiny from others. It tends to show up between the ages of 8 and 15 and affects approximately 9.1% of adolescents ages 13 to 18 in the U.S. It’s also slightly more common among girls than boys. 

Previously referred to as “social phobia,” social anxiety disorder can interfere with a young person’s academic performance, social activities, and relationships. For most children, school is their most social zone. It’s where they learn to get along with others, solve problems collectively, make friends, and resolve conflict. For a child with social anxiety disorder, however, these activities can be incredibly challenging. 

Fortunately, with early detection and the right support, kids and teens can learn to manage their anxiety.  If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A therapist who specializes in treating social anxiety in young people can help your child learn how to manage their symptoms so they can get back to the activities they love. 

Six strategies to overcome social anxiety at school 

If you’re a parent of a child with social anxiety at school, know that there are things you can do to support them. If you have a child who’s experiencing social anxiety, try:

1. Reinforcing prosocial behaviors: This includes things like introducing yourself, making small talk, asking questions, and starting conversations.
2. Modeling stress-management techniques: This may include things like mindfulness, deep breathing, or counting to 10. 
3. Helping your child identify their feelings: When they’re feeling anxious or afraid in social settings, make sure they know how to recognize that feeling. Let them know that it’s OK to have negative thoughts sometimes. Encourage them to use the stress-management techniques you’ve practiced together when that happens.
4. Limiting screen time: Social media has been shown to make anxiety worse in young people. So monitor your child’s screen time, and set age-appropriate limits. 
5. Communicating with their teacher(s): Regularly communicate with your child’s teacher(s) and school counselor about how they’re doing. Ask about school-based supports like one-on-one counseling, small group counseling, and social skills groups.
6. Seeking help from a therapist: If your child’s social anxiety isn’t becoming more manageable, it may be time to consider seeking professional help. You can connect your child with a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders. 

Signs of social anxiety disorder at school

As they age into adolescence and their teen years, most kids start to become more aware of what other people think. While this can cause some temporary discomfort, social worries and occasional shyness are typical parts of growing up for most kids. But social anxiety disorder is different. It causes fears so severe that they keep a young person from doing things they enjoy, making friends, and, in some cases, attending school. 

If you’re concerned that your child might have social anxiety, talk to their teachers, and keep the lines of communication open. If you or school personnel notice any of the following signs of social anxiety disorder in your child, consider speaking with a mental health professional.

• They refuse to raise their hand or speak in class, even if they know the answer or have a question for their teacher.
• They panic before any performance-based school activity, like being in a play or giving a book report in front of the class. Or they refuse to participate in these activities altogether.
• They prefer to eat alone or use the restroom when no other children are present.
• They spend unstructured time, like recess, alone or ask to stay inside with their teacher instead of playing with the other kids. 
• They often feel sick in the morning before school and attempt to stay home. They may also frequently feel sick at school and request to go home.
• They appear sad, depressed, embarrassed, lonely, or withdrawn.
• They have a few well-meaning friends who tend to speak for them or protect them.
• They’ve had problems with bullies.
• They frequently need support from the school counselor, teacher, or other adults to manage developmentally appropriate social situations.
• They often report physical symptoms of anxiety, like headaches, stomach problems, shakiness, sweating, or rapid heartbeat when in social situations.

Keep in mind that kids can mask their social anxiety, and that can make it hard to detect. While social anxiety can create obvious changes in social and academic functioning, it can affect high achievers too. 

For example, the straight-A student or star of the soccer team isn’t immune to anxiety. The extreme academic and extracurricular pressures they face might be boiling just below the surface. And this can take a toll on their mental health, self-esteem, and peer relationships.

Causes of social anxiety at school

Like other forms of anxiety, there isn’t a singular cause of social anxiety in children and teens. Rather, it likely results from a combination of biological, environmental, and genetic factors.

• Biology: The brain’s “fear center” is called the amygdala. Kids who have an overactive amygdala might be more susceptible to social anxiety disorder.
• Environment: Having overly controlling or protective parents or being bullied or socially excluded may increase a child’s risk for social anxiety disorder. 
• Genetics: Anxiety disorders are considered heritable disorders. This means they tend to run in families. So if a parent has social anxiety disorder, their child may be more likely to develop it too.

Find care with Rula

As a parent, it can be hard to tell the difference between typical behavior and something more concerning. But if your child’s shyness or social fears are impacting their ability to learn, connect with peers, or attend school, it could be a sign of social anxiety disorder. Fortunately, anxiety disorders are highly treatable for both kids and adults. With the right support, your child can learn to manage their worries so they can form positive relationships and achieve their full potential in school and beyond. 

With Rula, you can connect with a therapist who specializes in working with children and teens in just a few clicks. When you and your child need support, we invite you to explore our therapist-matching program. There, you can sift through your options, find a provider who takes your insurance, and schedule your child’s first appointment as soon as tomorrow.

Find a therapist with Rula