Making sense of burning as self-harm

People who burn themselves as a form of self-harm are usually experiencing deep emotional pain. They may use matches or a lighter to hurt themselves — not because they want to die, but to cope with depression, anxiety, or stress. While self-harm isn’t a suicide attempt, it can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.*

Most people realize that self-harm isn’t a healthy way to deal with life’s stressors, but they may feel like they have no other options. While it can bring temporary relief from emotional pain, self-harm often leads to shame, guilt, or regret, creating a cycle that’s hard to break.

Over time, self-inflicted burning can become a habit, making it more difficult to stop. That’s why support from a therapist, understanding from loved ones, and healthier coping strategies are so important for breaking the cycle.

*If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts or thoughts about harming themself or others, please call or text 988 on any phone for the Suicide & Crisis lifeline, contact a local crisis line, or head to the emergency room immediately. If you’re experiencing a life-threatening emergency or you need immediate help, please call 911. 

Are self-inflicted burns a form of self-harm?

Self-inflicted burns are a form of self-harm, along with cutting, scratching, and hitting. People who self-harm in this way are most likely to burn areas like their arms, wrists, front of thighs, and abdomen.

Some reasons people engage in self-harm include:

• Escaping quickly from feeling overwhelmed
• Regaining a sense of control or influencing others
• Evoking feelings when they feel numb or nothing at all
• Punishing themselves
• Distracting themselves from negative thoughts and feelings

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What are signs of self-burning?

People who self-burn often try to hide their injuries, but some signs can include:

• Having visible burn marks or scars
• Having multiple burns in the same size or shape
• Wearing only long sleeves and pants to hide injuries, even in hot weather
• Collecting lighters, matches, and other fire-starting tools
• Avoiding friends and loved ones and situations that involve less body coverage, like swimming
• Exhibiting signs of anxiety and depression, like feelings of hopeless or worthlessness

What leads to self-inflicted burning?

There are many different reasons why someone may engage in self-inflicted burning. For many, it comes from the desire to release or avoid emotional pain or to feel in control. Self-harm usually begins in the teen years or in early adulthood.

Self-inflicted burns can also be the result of co-existing mental health conditions, including: 

• Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
• Depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Eating disorders
• Schizophrenia
• Sexual or physical childhood abuse
• Substance use

Effects of self-injury burning over time

When people engage in harmful behavior like self-inflicted burns, they run the risk of accidentally causing a much more serious problem, like irreparable damage or an infection that could lead to death.

In addition, self-inflicted burns can have both physical and psychological effects over time. Some of these effects may be long-lasting or permanent, including:

• Scarring and disfigurement
• Skin tightness and reduced mobility
• Chronic pain and sensitivity
• Increased risk of skin cancer
• Delayed healing and tissue damage
• Increased shame, guilt, and low self-esteem
• Social withdrawal
• Higher risk of substance use and addiction

Can therapy help?

A qualified therapist can help you understand the motivations behind self-harm, and you can work together to replace self-burning with healthier coping strategies. 

When working with a therapist, you can expect the following: 

• Identify and manage the underlying issues that lead to burning
• Learn coping skills to better manage stress, depression, and anxiety
• Learn how to regulate and cope with unhealthy emotions
• Learn how to improve self-esteem and relationships with others
• Develop healthy problem-solving skills

Effective therapy techniques for people experiencing self-harm include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): Cognitive behavioral therapy is a form of talk therapy that helps people to manage their thoughts and feelings and change unhelpful thought patterns.
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): With dialectical behavioral therapy, you can learn skills to manage your emotions in a healthy way, reduce self-harm behaviors, and balance acceptance with change. DBT is grounded in the belief that many emotional challenges result from a lack of coping skills and by learning these skills, people can lead happier lives.
• Group therapy: Talking in a safe, confidential group setting with others who have engaged in self-harm can provide a sense of understanding and connection.

Self-care strategies to try

In addition to therapy, there are strategies that offer healthier ways of coping and can be used to understand and regulate your emotions. 

Some self-care strategies to try:

• Use distraction. Techniques like placing an ice cube in the crook of your arm and focusing on the sting of the cold can provide relief for some people who self-harm.
• Take a screen break. Some research indicates excessive use of social media may increase the risk of self-harm.
• Reach out for support. When you feel the urge to self-burn, call or text a supportive friend or family member who can provide comfort. 
• Try journaling. Writing down your feelings can help you identify triggers and learn how to manage your emotions in a healthier way.
• Embrace relaxation techniques. Deep-breathing exercises and guided imagery are among the methods people use to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression and achieve a sense of calm.
• Aim for restful sleep. Getting enough sleep each night is essential for both mental and physical health.
• Set healthy boundaries. Say no to invitations and requests that can cause stress and negatively impact your well-being.
• Recite affirmations. Offer yourself positive messages throughout your day to maintain a healthy state of mind. Start with, “I’ll turn negative thoughts into positive ones,” or, “I’ll make time today for what brings me joy.”

Find care with Rula

If you or someone you care about is self-harming to cope with emotional pain or trauma, help is available. Many people who self-harm hide their injuries and avoid talking about them, but therapy can provide a safe, nonjudgmental space where they can heal and find healthier ways to cope.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

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