What does self-harming behavior mean for your health?

We all have our own ways of dealing with painful or distressing emotions. There are healthy coping mechanisms, like exercise, journaling, and meditation. Then, there are unhealthy coping mechanisms, like self-harm.

Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts themself physically, such as by cutting their skin or pulling out their hair. Approximately 4% of U.S. adults have experience with self-harm, but these behaviors seem to be more common among younger generations. Some research suggests that as many as 17% to 35% of college students engage in self-harming behaviors.

Despite its prevalence, the concept of self-harm is often misunderstood. Most people who self-harm aren’t looking for attention or trying to take their own life. Below, we shed some light on why people self-harm, as well as what it means for your mental health and overall well-being.

What does self-harming behavior look like?

Self-harm refers to any behavior that’s done with the intention to harm yourself. Skin cutting is a common example, but there are many types of self-harm. In fact, people who self-harm often hurt themselves in more than one way.

Some common self-harm behaviors include: 

• Burning your skin
• Compulsively picking at your skin 
• Hitting or banging your head
• Scratching yourself so hard you draw blood 
• Intentionally breaking bones
• Drinking toxic substances, like bleach or detergent
• Inserting objects into body parts 

It’s not always obvious when someone is engaging in self-harming behaviors. In fact, most people hide their injuries out of shame or fear of judgment. Possible signs of self-harm include recurring injuries on the same body part, such as forearms or thighs, and wearing long or baggy clothing (even when it’s not weather appropriate).

What causes people to harm themselves?

Most people who self-harm are trying to cope with difficult thoughts, feelings, or circumstances. Self-harm may be a way to temporarily release overwhelming feelings or feel in control. For some people, self-harming behaviors are a type of self-punishment or an attempt to feel something other than emptiness or numbness. Self-harm can even be a way to let other people know that you’re struggling with your emotional well-being and need help. 

A few risk factors may increase your chances of using self-harm as a coping method. To start, self-harm is most common among teens and young adults, typically starting when people are 12 to 14 years old. Other risk factors include:

• Childhood trauma
• Low self-esteem
• Friends or family who self-harm 
• Having a personality disorder
• Substance use 

Is self-harming a sign of a mental health condition?

Self-harm isn’t a mental health condition, but it can be a sign or symptom of one. It’s associated with depression, anxiety, substance use disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and eating disorders. It’s also common among people with personality disorders — especially borderline personality disorder.

How serious is self-harming behavior?

Self-harm is also referred to as nonsuicidal self-injury because it’s usually done without suicidal intent. That said, self-harm is still a serious and potentially life-threatening issue. Research shows that people who self-harm have an increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors.* Self-harming behaviors can also be a sign of a serious mental health condition that requires treatment and support. 

*The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support with trained crisis counselors. If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, please call or text 988. If you’re experiencing a life-threatening emergency or you need immediate help, please call 911.

What to do about thoughts of harming yourself

If you’re intentionally harming yourself, it’s important to get help. Self-harm is often a sign that someone is struggling, and no one should have to go through that on their own. Whether it’s with a family member, friend, or neighbor, talking about your feelings is an important step in breaking the cycle of self-harm. 

Next, consider speaking with a mental health professional. Therapy is a chance to explore the root cause of your behaviors in a safe, judgment-free space. Working with a therapist can also help you identify your triggers, develop self-compassion, and find healthier ways to process overwhelming emotions. Group therapy can be another effective resource for sharing your experiences in a supportive setting. 

Additionally, some practical strategies to reduce self-harming behaviors include:

• Identify the emotions: Next time you feel the urge to self-harm, name how you’re feeling and why. Practice holding space for that feeling while using a deep breathing technique, like box breathing. 
• Practicing positive affirmations: Affirmations encourage a more positive perspective on life. Try starting the day with something like, “I am working on being kinder to myself.” Positive affirmations can also be helpful when you feel the urge to self-harm: “This feeling will pass, and I’ll feel stronger for overcoming it.”
• Staying connected: Self-harm can be isolating, but make an effort to connect with people who you trust — especially when you feel the urge to harm yourself. This can be as simple as texting a friend or taking a walk with your neighbor.
• Preparing for emergencies: If you or someone in your life has a history of self-harm, it’s important to know how to access emergency support resources: 
  • The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Call 1-800-950-6264 or text “HelpLine” to 62640
  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline: Call 1-800-662-4357

Find care with Rula

Ending the cycle of self-harm isn’t always easy, but help is available for anyone who’s ready to begin their healing journey. Rula is committed to helping people access quality mental healthcare so they can learn to handle whatever life throws their way. 

Using Rula’s streamlined therapist-matching program, you can review our network of over 10,000 providers to find a therapist who takes your insurance and is accepting new clients. In just a few clicks, you can schedule your first session for as soon as tomorrow.

Find care with Rula