Key Takeaways

  • While some people have a natural sense of self-confidence, others need to actively work to maintain or improve their self-confidence.
  • Self-confidence describes how people feel about themselves and how they perceive their value.
  • Self-confidence is a fluid and flexible characteristic that is influenced by internal and external factors. 

Self-confidence is how much confidence you have in yourself and your abilities. People with high self-confidence view themselves positively. They tend to see their strengths and weaknesses in realistic and healthy ways. People with low self-confidence often view themselves as more flawed because they focus overwhelmingly on their negative traits. 

If you struggle with self-confidence, know that you’re not alone. Whether your confidence has recently taken a dip due to life circumstances or you just want to boost your overall confidence level, it’s possible to become more self-confident with intentional practice and tools. 

Nine tips for boosting self-confidence

Cultivating a healthy sense of self-confidence can improve your mental health. But for many people, building self-confidence takes conscious work and practice.

To improve your self-confidence, you can try:

  1. Assessing your confidence: Improving your confidence begins with a full and honest assessment of who you are and how you see yourself. Although this may be uncomfortable, it’s worth it in the long run. During this process, check in with others about how they view you and your level of confidence. 
  2. Reframing the fear of arrogance: Many people with low self-confidence worry about becoming too arrogant or cocky. But don’t let that fear discourage you. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities is a positive thing as long as you don’t take it too far.
  3. Improving your strengths: What are you good at? Building confidence by leaning into the things that you already do well can help. If you’re good at sports, for example, find ways to apply your athletic strengths to other areas of your life.
  4. Focusing on areas of growth: In pursuit of balance, be honest about ways that you could improve, and spend time working on those things. For example, if public speaking makes you feel uncomfortable, take time to practice to improve your skills. Your confidence will follow.
  5. Setting and accomplishing goals: Do something positive for yourself. If something has been on your to-do list for weeks or months, now is the time to accomplish it. Successfully completing a challenging task can boost your self-esteem and make you feel more capable.
  6. Caring for your physical health: Confidence and physical health tend to be connected. Of course, people in peak physical condition can still have low self-esteem. But taking steps to eat healthy foods, get plenty of sleep, and exercise regularly can have a positive effect on your mental health, physical health, and overall confidence level.
  7. Doing good for others: Volunteer for a good cause, or take time to help a neighbor in need. Doing so will boost your confidence while also helping you fight back against the notion that self-confidence is tied to selfishness.
  8. Paying attention to positive feedback: People with low self-confidence may feel like they never receive praise or compliments for their achievements. In reality, though, many people with low self-confidence quickly dismiss, ignore, or deny any positive feedback they receive. To combat this habit, practice mindfully paying attention to people when they compliment you and taking their words to heart.
  9. Making it a habit: Set aside time each day for confidence-building activities. This form of self-care will help you prioritize learning to view yourself in a more positive light.

Where self-confidence comes from and why it matters

Self-confidence, or the belief in one’s abilities and skills, comes from a variety of sources. Depending on someone’s upbringing and experiences, they could start life with a higher or lower confidence level.

Possible causes of low self-confidence include:

  • Parents, teachers, and other adults being very critical during childhood
  • Poor performance in school, sports, work, or other activities
  • Bullying or having few strong relationships
  • History of abuse or neglect
  • High stress levels
  • Frequently moving as a child
  • Long-term medical problems or mental health issues

How therapy can help

Therapy can help with a wide range of symptoms and stressors that people encounter on a daily basis, and it can help you improve your self-confidence too.

Therapy can help you identify things that may be contributing to your low self-confidence. It can also ensure that any mental health conditions, like depression and anxiety, are treated appropriately. A therapist can help you understand whether your low confidence stems from unresolved issues from the past or current situations. Then, they can offer solutions specifically tailored to meet your unique needs.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), in particular, is a great type of therapy for improving self-confidence. This is because it targets the way people talk to themselves. By acknowledging and changing your self-talk, you can positively shift your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Find care with Rula

How confident you feel can have a direct impact on your relationships, including the relationship you have with yourself. And while life’s ups and downs can affect self-confidence, know that you can take steps to boost your confidence if you choose to. 

For those who need a little more assistance, seeking out help from a mental health professional is a great option. And that’s where Rula comes in. With our extensive network of therapists, you can find a provider who takes your insurance in just a few clicks. And, our convenient online platform means you can be seen from the comfort of home, as soon as tomorrow. 

About the author

Eric Patterson, LPC

Eric Patterson, LPC is a professional counselor with over 10 years of experience helping people of all ages reach their goals and improve their well-being.

Rula's editorial process

Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness. Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.

More From Rula

December 17, 2024
What do attachment disorders look like in adults?

Left untreated, attachment issues can continue into adulthood.

December 17, 2024
How are autism and attachment related?

Autism and attachment disorders sometimes overlap.