How to develop more self-awareness

Self-awareness involves identifying and exploring your identity and emotions. You can become more self-aware by being curious about who you are and how you relate to the world around you. 

This form of mindfulness requires slowing down and noticing what you’re experiencing without judging what comes up. It shines a light on how your thoughts and emotions impact your behavior and unveils opportunities for personal growth. And the good news? Self-awareness isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s a skill that you can cultivate with a few simple techniques.  

The benefits of self-awareness

When you don’t know yourself, it can be difficult to understand why you think and feel the way you do. It’s also harder to understand your behavior and consider how your choices might affect other people. But making time to better understand your thoughts, feelings, convictions, values, and needs can strengthen your mental health and improve your life in many ways.

Cultivating more self-awareness can lead to:

• Better communication
• Stronger relationships
• More resilience in challenging situations
• Better decision-making skills
• Increased self-esteem
• More adaptability
• Greater ability to spot and address challenges before they become unmanageable
• Being more attuned to your own and others’ needs

If you’re struggling with self-awareness, know that you aren’t alone. Different people have different levels of self-awareness. It’s a process that typically starts in early childhood, but it’s something that most people continue to work on throughout their lives. 

Our life experiences also play a role in how well we know ourselves. For example, today, many children are exposed to social-emotional learning (SEL) at home or school. This involves lessons and activities designed to promote self-compassion, self-management, and self-awareness in young people. 

But in the past, many of us were not taught these critical skills. If no one modeled self-awareness for you as a child, it might be something you need to work on now, and that’s OK. 

Five tips to become more self-aware

As you think about becoming more self-aware, know that you don’t have to scrutinize every thought, feeling, or experience you encounter. As the saying goes, there can be too much of a good thing. So as you review the following tips, keep in mind that the goal is increased awareness, not hypervigilance. 

Sometimes, the process of gaining insight into who you are can be uncomfortable. But it’s ultimately a growth opportunity that can lead to more insight, inner peace, and understanding. Try to maintain a sense of curiosity about your inner world without judging what you learn about yourself.

1. Make a commitment. It might sound simple, but the first step in becoming more self-aware is deliberately choosing to explore yourself. It also means acknowledging that the process takes some time and may not always be easy. 
2. Pause and reflect. Whether it’s finding a low-distraction environment to think about your day or journaling about what thoughts, feelings, and behaviors you notice in yourself, introspection is key for increasing self-awareness. Pay attention to any patterns you notice.
3. Seek feedback. Talk to people you trust, and ask them to share anything they’ve noticed that could help you better understand yourself. 
4. Acknowledge your culture and identity. Who you are is more than just your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It’s also deeply tied to your cultural identity, social history, family, and values. See if you can identify how these aspects shape how you see yourself.
5. Talk to a professional. A therapist can offer support and guidance on your journey to increase your self-awareness. When life is busy, it can be helpful to set aside some regular time to focus on yourself.

Self-awareness in therapy

People seek therapy for many different types of mental health concerns. But you don’t need to be struggling with an acute mental health challenge or facing a crisis to benefit from therapy. Although it can be helpful in those scenarios, you can also use therapy as a way to increase your self-awareness. 

Therapists are trained to offer a neutral and judgment-free space to help you explore your identity. They can listen reflectively, gently challenge assumptions, teach you communication and coping skills, and offer a different perspective on your experiences. 

While some people might think they’re too self-aware for therapy, this usually isn’t the case. With the right support, you can overcome a tendency to overanalyze or criticize yourself and learn to embrace curiosity and vulnerability. Gaining more insight into who you are can help you foster self-compassion, improve your empathy for others, and strengthen your mental health.

Find care with Rula

Have you ever wondered why you think, feel, or behave the way you do? Creating space in your life to answer some of those questions can help you better understand who you are. And when you know yourself better, you’re more equipped to honor your needs and consider how your actions impact others. Fortunately, increasing your self-awareness doesn’t have to be a complicated process. 

At Rula, we make it easy to connect with a therapist who can help you on your journey of personal growth. With our extensive network of therapists, you can quickly find a provider who takes your insurance and offers the specialized care you deserve. And thanks to our teletherapy platform, you can meet with your therapist from the comfort of home — as soon as tomorrow. 

Find a therapist with Rula