PTSD after narcissistic abuse: Signs & how to recover

Key Takeaways

“Narcissistic abuse” is a nonclinical term used to describe emotional or psychological abuse committed by someone who has narcissistic traits. A person doesn’t need to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to engage in narcissistic abuse.
All forms of abuse, including narcissistic abuse, can be traumatizing. For some people, abuse can lead to the onset of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
People who have PTSD due to the effects of narcissistic abuse typically need professional help to manage their symptoms. However, with the right support, people with PTSD can strengthen their mental health and form healthy relationships.

The term “narcissistic abuse” has been gaining traction, especially on social media. But if you’re unsure what it means, you’re not alone. While narcissistic abuse doesn’t have an official definition, it’s typically used in nonclinical settings to describe harm done by someone with narcissistic tendencies. We’ll explore what that can look like below and discuss how abuse can sometimes lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

But before we dive in, it’s worth noting that while some abusive partners may have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), many do not. And most people living with a mental health concern don’t abuse others. For this reason, some people have cautioned against using the term narcissistic abuse. They fear that it might draw an unhelpful connection between mental health and abuse.

For example, a person with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) could abuse their partner. But we wouldn’t call their behavior “anxiety abuse.” That’s because there’s no proven link between having a mental health concern and abusing someone.

Because conditions like NPD are highly stigmatized, it’s important to be aware of how terms like narcissistic abuse may increase bias and confusion. Throughout this article, we’ll be using the term to honor the experiences of those who’ve experienced abuse from someone with narcissistic tendencies. But we want to affirm that all people deserve mental health care, including those who are living with conditions like NPD.

Can you get PTSD from narcissistic abuse?

PTSD is a mental health condition that can occur in the aftermath of trauma. A person can develop PTSD after a single traumatic event (like an assault or natural disaster) or due to ongoing trauma (like abuse or neglect).

Experiencing abuse from someone who has narcissistic tendencies — like selfishness, manipulation, or trouble showing empathy — can, for some people, lead to PTSD.

Some of the signs and symptoms of PTSD include:

Having flashbacks of the trauma
Dreaming of traumatic events
Avoiding people, places, things, or activities that trigger memories of the trauma
Experiencing uncontrolled, distressing thoughts
Having physical symptoms, like a racing heart, aches and pains, or stomach issues
Being easily startled and feeling on edge
Having trouble falling and/or staying asleep
Having difficulty managing emotions
Engaging in unsafe or risky activities
Having trouble remembering details of traumatic events
Withdrawing socially and wanting to spend more time alone
Having trouble feeling positive emotions
Blaming yourself for the traumatic events

What do PTSD symptoms feel like after narcissistic abuse?

Research shows that narcissistic behavior can cause significant psychological and emotional distress, even if it doesn’t meet the criteria for NPD. In some cases, being in a relationship with someone who exhibits narcissistic traits can lead to the onset of PTSD. For example, one study found that grandiose narcissism, which causes extreme self-centeredness, may be a strong predictor of partner PTSD.

Here’s how some of the most common PTSD symptoms might feel for someone who’s experienced narcissistic abuse.

Flashbacks: If you experienced aggressive outbursts from an abusive partner, you might become frightened or distressed when someone raises their voice.
Disturbing dreams: You may find yourself having disturbing dreams about the abuse or struggling to control upsetting memories.
Hypervigilance: In the aftermath of abuse, you might constantly worry about your safety and scan your environment for danger, even when there’s no apparent threat.
Avoidance: If there are places, people, or situations that make you recall the abuse, you might avoid them, even if it means spending more time alone.
Loss of trust: Experiencing abuse can make it hard to trust others and yourself. You might worry that you aren’t a good judge of character or fear getting into another abusive relationship.
Physical symptoms: Living with PTSD can take a toll on your body. It can lead to sleep difficulties, stomach issues, unexplained aches and pains, and more.
Reactivity: PTSD can make you feel like you have a “short fuse” all the time. You might experience frequent irritability and have a hard time controlling your emotions.

Keep in mind that PTSD symptoms can show up in different ways for different people. What’s most important to know is that if you’ve experienced abuse of any kind, help is available. With the right support, you can heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse.

PTSD is typically a lifelong condition, and about 40% of people will still experience significant symptoms 10 years after its onset. While PTSD can’t be cured, there are things you can do to manage your symptoms.

Recovering from PTSD caused by narcissistic abuse

If you’re working to recover from PTSD caused by narcissistic abuse, talking to a mental health professional can help. A trauma-informed therapist can provide a safe space to process your emotions, learn to manage your symptoms, and rebuild your self-esteem.

While not a replacement for therapy, there are also some things you can do on your own to strengthen your well-being as you heal from PTSD caused by narcissistic abuse. For example:

Accept your feelings. Living with narcissistic abuse can leave you questioning yourself and your sense of reality. Remember that your feelings and experiences are valid, even if they don’t seem logical to someone else.
Practice self-compassion. PTSD is a serious mental health condition that can have lifelong effects. So try to be kind to yourself throughout your treatment journey. Imagine how you would treat a friend going through the same thing, and try to channel that same compassion for yourself.
Stay grounded. If anxious thoughts or flashbacks flood your mind, try a grounding exercise, like connecting with all five senses. This can help you feel calm and connected to the present moment.
Be social. Sometimes, PTSD can lead to isolation, and the same is true for being in an abusive relationship. So, as you heal, try to spend time with friends or loved ones, and look for opportunities to expand your support network.
Prioritize self-care. Making a little time for yourself each day can enhance your mental and physical well-being in many ways. Whether it’s going for a walk, taking a kickboxing class, or listening to a relaxing playlist, do things that reduce stress and make you feel more connected to yourself.

Find care with Rula

Narcissistic abuse, while not a clinical term, is used to describe the harm perpetuated by people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies. This can include self-centeredness, manipulation, and an inability to demonstrate empathy. Being in a relationship with a person who demonstrates these traits can be traumatizing and lead to PTSD for some people. Fortunately, PTSD symptoms can be managed with the right support. Many people with PTSD go on to live full, balanced lives and form healthy relationships.

When you need a trauma-focused therapist you can meet with as soon as tomorrow, we invite you to explore Rula. With our therapist-matching program, you can quickly and easily sort through your options, select an in-network provider, and schedule your first live-video session. Along the way, our team will be there to answer any questions that come up and help you access the quality care you deserve.

In severe cases, people who have narcissistic traits may show signs of intense anger and aggression, which can escalate to various forms of abuse. If you feel unsafe in your relationship for any reason, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by dialing 800-799-7233 for confidential support.

Rula's editorial process

Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness. Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.