Understanding neurotic behavior: Common signs & how to cope

Key Takeaways

“Neuroticism” is not a mental health condition. Rather, neuroticism is a personality quality, like being introverted or extroverted. People can have different levels of neuroticism, since it exists on a spectrum.

People with high levels of neuroticism often have a hard time managing stress and regulating their emotions. They may frequently feel sad, afraid, angry, or irritable.

Many neurotic behaviors are the result of underlying mental health conditions like anxiety. However, you don’t need to be diagnosed with a mental health condition to seek help for neurotic behaviors.

Have you ever heard someone describe another person as “neurotic?” If so, you probably know that the term is often used to describe someone who shows negative emotions or behaviors. These might include anger, irritability, anxiety, self-consciousness, or other forms of emotional instability.

Unlike common mental health conditions like depression or anxiety, neuroticism is not a mental health diagnosis. Rather, it’s a term that describes a specific personality characteristic. Like other personality characteristics (like introversion and extroversion), neuroticism exists on a spectrum. Some people are high in neuroticism, and some people are low. People who have a high degree of neuroticism may benefit from professional help to manage behaviors that stem from neuroticism.

What is neurotic behavior?

Neuroticism is a personality type characterized by long-term emotional and psychological instability. People who have a high degree of neuroticism often have a hard time managing stress. They tend to have an outsized emotional response or overreaction to everyday mistakes or minor inconveniences.

We all can be overly reactive or short-tempered sometimes. But people whose personality type makes them more likely to have neurotic behaviors often have ongoing problems in important areas of their lives. Left untreated, these behaviors can affect things like their employment, relationships, and physical health.

What are the different types of neurosis?

The term “neurosis” is another way of describing a set of behaviors that may or may not be the result of a clinical mental health condition. It may be helpful to remember that, at their core, neurotic behaviors are often a response to severe anxiety.

People can experience symptoms of anxiety or other forms of emotional dysregulation without meeting the criteria for a mental health condition. But often, when emotional dyregulation is especially strong, it’s a sign that someone has an underlying mental health condition.

People with neurotic behaviors may meet the diagnostic criteria for:

When used outside of a clinical context, the term “neurotic” can have a stigmatizing effect. People may use this term to describe someone who’s highly organized, quick to anger, or very particular about their environment.

But true neuroticism is more than a mild quirk. Living with constant worry, mood swings, and irritability can significantly impact a person’s quality of life. It can also be a sign that they’re living with a serious mental health concern and may need professional help.

What are the common signs and symptoms of neurotic behavior?

Neurotic behavior can take many forms. But it’s often the result of feeling anxious, afraid, irritable, sad, or self-conscious. People who show signs of neurotic behavior tend to have a hard time managing stress and regulating their emotions.

Neurotic behavior can look like:

Outbursts of anger (like road rage)
Difficulty “bouncing back” from minor stressors
Rapid mood swings
Low self-esteem and frequent self-criticism
Frequent conflict with peers, coworkers, partners, or family members
Chronic, excessive worry about oneself or others
Frequently feeling irritable without a known cause
Ruminating in ways that negatively impact functioning or quality of life
Constantly striving for perfection and never feeling “good enough”
Trouble performing at work or school
Having strong, negative reactions to small mistakes
A tendency to view neutral or positive things in a negative light
An inability to start and maintain healthy relationships
Feeling physically and emotionally exhausted all the time
Perfectionistic behaviors or ways of thinking

Left unaddressed, neurotic behaviors like these can take a toll on a person’s mental and physical well-being. But know that with the right support, people who experience these behaviors can learn to stabilize their emotions, manage stress, and live full, balanced lives.

What causes neurotic behavior?

Research shows that neurotic behavior may be caused by a combination of genetics and environment. For example, one study found that having a close relative, like a sibling or parent, who exhibits neurotic behavior may increase a person’s risk.

Other research suggests that environment, especially exposure to stress, may play an even more important role. A 2018 study followed twins who were both predisposed to neurosis but placed in different environments. Researchers found that the twins did not have the same level of neurotic behavior, despite their genetic link.

Most effective treatment options for neurotic behavior

If neurotic behavior is affecting your life, know that help is available. Remember that while a therapist can help you change unwanted behaviors, the goal of therapy is not to change your identity. Many neurotic behaviors are part of a person’s personality, so they cannot be “cured” or eliminated.

In some cases, harnessing neurotic tendencies can have a positive effect on your life. For example, perhaps you’re good at finding ways to channel your organizational abilities into your work. Or maybe it’s easy for you to incorporate healthy habits into your daily life.

The goal of treatment for someone who experiences neurotic behaviors is symptom management. Managing symptoms is important for both neuroticism and any co-occurring mental health conditions. You can manage your symptoms by working on self-awareness and practicing positive coping skills.

You can manage neurotic behaviors with:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This form of talk therapy helps you identify unwanted thought and behavior patterns. It also helps you learn new ways to respond to stressful situations and how to manage your emotions more effectively.
Mindfulness: This framework can help you increase your awareness in the present moment. This, in turn, helps reduce emotional reactivity and catastrophic thinking.
Lifestyle changes: Taking good care of your physical well-being can help strengthen your mental health. This can include making time for regular exercise, balanced meals, and restful sleep.
Medication: If you’re living with a co-occurring mental health condition like anxiety or depression, your provider may recommend medication as part of your treatment plan.
Support networks: Research shows that social isolation can make neurotic behaviors worse. So try to maintain connections with friends and loved ones you can talk to about your experience.

Find a therapist with Rula

Neurotic behaviors can take a toll on nearly every aspect of your life. But fortunately, you can manage them with the right support. At Rula, we’re streamlining the process of finding the right therapist so that you can access care without having to wait weeks or months for an appointment.

If you’re looking for a therapist, we invite you to explore our therapist-matching program. In just a few clicks, you can find a provider who takes your insurance and can see you as soon as tomorrow. Whether you need individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, and/or medication management, our team is here to help you find the specialized care you deserve.