How trauma shapes narcissism — and paths to healing

Trauma — whether acute or chronic — can affect people in different ways. Some people experience temporary symptoms in the aftermath of traumatic events, while others face ongoing emotional challenges. Trauma can also lead people to engage in maladaptive or narcissistic behaviors in an attempt to cope. And sometimes, personal trauma may trigger or reveal narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). 

While trauma isn’t considered a standalone cause of NPD, exploring the relationship between these two experiences can improve treatment outcomes and help you get the support you need to heal.

But before we dive into the interplay between narcissism and trauma, it’s important to remember that the term “narcissism,” as it’s used in everyday conversation, isn’t the same as NPD. A person can exhibit narcissistic traits without having a mental health condition. But for the purposes of this discussion, we’ll be exploring the connection between trauma and narcissistic behaviors that may or may not meet the diagnostic criteria for NPD.

Can trauma cause narcissism?

Trauma can change how a person sees themselves. And when a person’s self-image or self-esteem is fractured, this can lead to shame, humiliation, and/or rage. These feelings are strongly associated with narcissism. In fact, some researchers refer to these feelings as “trauma-associated narcissistic symptoms.” 

It’s believed that the more personal a trauma is, the greater the likelihood that a person may develop narcissistic behaviors in response. A personal trauma might involve losing a loved one unexpectedly, being the victim of an assault, or any other experience that leads a person to feel humiliated or personally attacked. 

In some instances, personal trauma can lead to the onset of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But keep in mind that anyone can develop narcissistic tendencies due to trauma. It’s also impossible to tell whether people who show narcissistic behaviors in the aftermath of trauma would have eventually demonstrated the same behaviors in the absence of trauma.

Can narcissism lead to trauma?

Despite their underlying insecurities, people with NPD often have an inflated or grandiose sense of self. They may believe they’re superior to others and have difficulty demonstrating empathy. This can lead them to manipulate people for personal gain and expect special treatment when it’s not warranted. 

As you might imagine, these behaviors can take a damaging toll on relationships. And, in severe cases, they can amount to narcissistic abuse that can be traumatizing for survivors.

Can PTSD and NPD be confused with each other?

Research shows that trauma-associated narcissistic symptoms represent a specific cluster of symptoms that can closely resemble those of PTSD. These include:

• Feeling detached from oneself and/or one’s surroundings
• Having a strong desire for control
• Showing a sense of entitlement 
• Craving external validation
• Focusing on one’s own needs over others 

Because of this overlap, PTSD and NPD can sometimes be confused with one another. So if you think you may have received a misdiagnosis, don’t hesitate to get a second opinion. 

Heal from narcissism and trauma with therapy

People whose narcissistic tendencies arose due to trauma need integrated care that acknowledges both concerns at the same time. While there are various forms of therapy for trauma, effectively treating trauma-induced NPD requires identifying the ways that narcissism has served as a form of protection for the affected person. 

For example, imagine a person who survived a natural disaster, like a tornado that destroyed their home and devastated their community. This traumatic experience caused them to feel unsafe in the world because they learned that tragedy can strike at any time. In response, they may become intensely focused on themselves and their personal safety. They may also try to control every aspect of their environment — including other people — in an attempt to prevent future harm. 

On the surface, these behaviors might mirror the self-centeredness that so often goes along with narcissism. But, given the person’s trauma history, we can see how the behaviors are designed to be protective. 

Successfully treating NPD and trauma requires identifying the underlying thoughts and behaviors related to the traumatic event(s). From there, you and your therapist can work together to help you replace them with more functional thoughts and behaviors. Approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be especially helpful in facilitating this process. 

CBT is one of the most effective treatments for trauma and NPD because it can help you change how you see yourself and others. It can also help you interrupt the patterns that may be driving your narcissistic tendencies and learn to respond to stress in healthier ways. 

Find care with Rula

We don’t often think about narcissism and trauma in the same context. However, research shows that there might be considerable overlap between these two experiences. Surviving traumatic events can disrupt how a person feels about themselves and the world around them. So, in response, they might begin engaging in narcissistic behaviors as a way to cope. Left untreated, the effects of trauma can take a damaging toll on your health and well-being. 

Fortunately, narcissistic tendencies can be managed with the right support. Whether you’re dealing with trauma, NPD, or another concern, with Rula, help is just a few clicks away. If you need affordable, specialized care, check out our therapist-matching program. There, you can explore our network of over 10,000 providers, find the right therapist for your needs, and schedule your first live video session for as soon as tomorrow.

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