Understanding and supporting teens with narcissistic traits

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a serious mental health condition that causes an inflated sense of self, difficulty with empathy, and trouble connecting with others. NPD typically isn’t diagnosed in people under the age of 18. However, research shows that children can begin showing narcissistic traits as early as age 8. 

While these tendencies don’t mean that a person will develop NPD, narcissism can create significant challenges for teens and families. It can also be difficult for parents to tell the difference between typical teenage behaviors and signs of something more concerning. 

If you’re concerned about your teen’s mental health, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A mental health professional can provide an evaluation and help ensure that your child gets the support they need.

Is it developmentally appropriate teen behavior or something more concerning?

There’s a big difference between healthy self-esteem and the extremely inflated ego that stems from narcissism. In addition, many people can show signs of narcissism without meeting the full diagnostic criteria for NPD. 

But narcissism in teens is more than just occasional selfishness or moodiness. Teens are not typically diagnosed with NPD, as their personalities are still forming. However, they can have narcissistic traits. 

Some of these traits are considered a normal part of teenage development, like:

• Over-inflated ego, confidence, or sense of self-importance: Teens often go through phases where they have an exaggerated sense of self due to ongoing identity formation.
• Attention-seeking behaviors: Seeking attention is common as teens try to find their place in social circles.
• Thinking they’re more important or smarter than everyone else: It’s normal for teens to feel superior at times, often as a defense mechanism or part of self-discovery.
• Fear of criticism or rejection and frequent anxiety about what others think of them: Adolescents are highly sensitive to peer feedback and may experience anxiety about social acceptance.
• Self-centeredness and jealousy: Teenagers can be egocentric as they navigate personal development and social comparisons.

Keep in mind that anyone, regardless of age, can show these traits once in a while, and it doesn’t necessarily mean they have a mental health condition. 

If you spend time with teenagers regularly, you might recognize some of the behaviors on this list. Sometimes, teens crave attention, question authority, or push up against the rules. Other teens struggle with self-esteem, can be selfish, and fear being rejected by their peers. Most of these are developmentally appropriate teen behaviors. 

Signs of narcissistic personality disorder in teens

If a teen’s narcissistic tendencies are seriously impacting their well-being, relationships, and daily functioning, it could be more than healthy self-esteem. Chronic narcissistic behavior can indicate a serious internal struggle that can make life very difficult for teens.

Here are some potential indicators that a teen might be on a path toward developing narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):

• Fixations or fantasies related to power, control, or success: Persistent fantasies about power or success can signal deeper issues beyond typical adolescent hopes and dreams.
• Constantly needing praise and attention and desiring to be the center of attention: While some attention-seeking behavior is normal, an extreme need for admiration that disrupts daily life could be concerning.
• Extreme sense of entitlement: Believing they deserve special treatment or consistently expecting others to cater to their needs can be a sign of a larger issue.
• Taking advantage of others for personal gain: Regularly exploiting others to achieve personal goals is a significant red flag.
• Not showing remorse for hurtful behavior: A lack of empathy and an inability to feel guilt or remorse after harming others is a serious concern.
• Arrogant, snobby, or condescending behavior or communication: While occasional arrogance is common, a consistent pattern of demeaning others suggests deeper concerns.

Again, it can be difficult to tell the difference between typical teenage behavior and something more concerning. But if a teen in your life shows frequent signs of narcissism, know that help is available. 

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Six ways parents can support teens who are showing narcissistic traits 

When it comes to supporting teens with mental health challenges, early detection is key. The following strategies can help you address your teen’s narcissistic behaviors effectively and ensure that they get the support they need to thrive.

1. Set and maintain boundaries. Teens with narcissistic tendencies may feel entitled to do whatever they want or break the rules. So be clear about what is and is not acceptable in your home. Provide consistent and appropriate consequences when those boundaries are violated.
2. Demonstrate compassion. It’s OK if you get frustrated by your teen’s behavior sometimes. But try to remember that your teen’s behaviors may not be the result of a conscious choice or bad intentions. You can love your child even when you don’t love their behavior.
3. Foster empathy. Look for opportunities to help your child learn to consider others’ feelings. Volunteer as a family, or expose them to books or movies that can broaden their perspective.
4. Model healthy conflict resolution. When tempers start to flare, steer clear of the power struggle. Instead, offer choices and affirm your teen’s feelings, but don’t allow unsafe behavior. Also, don’t be afraid to take a break and return to the conversation later if you need to. Just be sure to confirm that everyone is safe before you step away.
5. Support siblings. A teen’s narcissistic tendencies can affect the entire family dynamic. So make sure everyone gets adequate attention, compassion, and support. 
6. Seek professional help. If you’re worried about your teen’s mental health, don’t hesitate to ask for help. There are a variety of treatments for narcissism that can help them regulate their emotions, build healthy relationships, and encourage healthy self-esteem.

Factors contributing to narcissistic traits in teens 

We don’t fully understand the origins of narcissism in teens or adults. But research shows that the following factors may increase a young person’s risk for developing narcissistic traits:

• Environment: Having parents who overvalue them or make them feel like they’re better or more deserving than other children
• Genetics: Having parents or other close relatives who also have narcissistic tendencies 
• Personality: Being an overly fearful, angry, or distressed child 

The influence of social media on teen narcissism 

Today’s teens do not remember a time when social media didn’t exist. Taking selfies, sharing and liking photos, and connecting with peers online are daily activities for many young people. The rise in social media use has been linked to narcissism in teens, and research suggests that young people today tend to be more narcissistic than previous generations. 

However, social media may not be the main driver behind this increase. Rather, it appears that teens who already have narcissistic traits may be more likely to overuse social media platforms. Regardless, parents should actively guide their teens in using social media safely and advocate for measures that support healthy online behavior.

The impact of narcissistic traits on teen development 

Without support, teens with narcissistic traits will likely face many challenges. Living with a sense of superiority, entitlement, and fear of rejection can make it difficult to build healthy relationships with friends, romantic partners, and loved ones. 

Narcissism can also impact teens’ view of themselves and their capabilities. This can negatively affect their academic performance, self-image, and social connections. All of these factors can take a toll on a teen’s mental health and well-being and impact the family dynamic. 

Treatment approaches for narcissistic traits in teens 

Teens who show narcissistic traits may benefit from some of the therapies used to treat NPD. These approaches can be modified so they’re appropriate for young people and their families.

• Individual therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), and metacognitive interpersonal therapy (MIT) are commonly used to treat NPD.
• Group therapy: This approach is designed to bring people together who are facing similar challenges. It can help participants learn new skills and practice relating to others in a supportive environment.
• Family therapy: When one person has narcissistic traits, it can affect the whole family. Attending therapy together can help families improve communication and conflict resolution and heal from past conflicts.

Find care with Rula 

Raising a teenager is a rewarding and challenging experience for most parents. But sometimes, it can be hard to tell if your child is demonstrating typical teenage behavior or something more concerning. Rest assured, if you’re concerned about your teen’s mental health, you’re not alone. Whether they’re showing signs of narcissistic traits or other challenging behaviors, Rula’s extensive network of therapists can help. 

With our therapist-matching program, you can find a provider who specializes in treating young people and who takes your insurance in just a few clicks. When your teen or your family needs support, you don’t need to wait weeks or months for support. Rula makes it easy to schedule your first appointment as soon as tomorrow.

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