Key Takeaways
- Postpartum intrusive thoughts are spontaneous, distressing mental images that often revolve around the infant’s safety. They may arise due to hormonal changes and/or the stress of having a new baby.
- Both birthing and nonbirthing parents can experience intrusive thoughts. And while they can be unsettling, they don’t necessarily represent the parent’s true wishes or desires.
- If the thoughts are severe and difficult to control, it could be a sign of an underlying mental health condition like postpartum depression or postpartum OCD, which may require professional help.
Almost everyone experiences intrusive thoughts once in a while. Those unwanted, unsettling mental images can arise seemingly out of nowhere. But if you’re a new parent, you might be especially prone to intrusive thoughts. For example, you might worry about hurting your baby or forgetting something important, like a feeding.
Rest assured that, while these thoughts can be upsetting, they’re very common and don’t necessarily represent your true feelings, desires, or identity. For many new parents, intrusive thoughts are a naturally occurring stress response that will fade in time as their baby grows.
But if your intrusive thoughts don’t go away on their own, it may be a sign of a mental health condition. Fortunately, with the right support, you can develop strategies to manage these thoughts and feel more at ease about your time with your baby.
What are postpartum intrusive thoughts?
The postpartum period can be a time of many intense emotions. You might feel excited, anxious, grateful, and terrified all at the same time. As a new parent, you’re likely also navigating all the changes that come with expanding your family (while running on very little sleep).
The early days with a new baby can be an incredibly joyful time, but they’re not without stress. Your brain may start envisioning all the potential dangers that could affect your child. All that added worry and apprehension can lead to intrusive thoughts, like:
- “What if I drop the baby when I’m going down the stairs?”
- “What if the straps on the car seat detach?”
- “What if my baby catches the flu from being out in public?”
- “What if I don’t have what it takes to be a ‘good’ parent?”
- “What if I drive off the road with the baby in the car?”
Most parents will never intentionally act on thoughts like these. So why are they so common? Researchers are still working to understand the underlying causes of postpartum intrusive thoughts.
However, some experts hypothesize that postpartum intrusive thoughts are the brain’s way of predicting potential harm so parents have a chance to intervene and keep their baby safe. Intrusive thoughts may also result from traumatic birth experiences and/or the hormonal fluctuations that occur during pregnancy and childbirth.
The care you need, when you need it
Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey
Are intrusive thoughts normal for new parents?
Intrusive thoughts are believed to affect at least 70% of birth-giving parents and some nonbirth-giving parents too. Many new parents are able to recognize intrusive thoughts for what they are. While the thoughts might be unsettling, they know they’re temporary and not a reflection of who they are as a parent.
In other instances, postpartum intrusive thoughts can be difficult to manage and can negatively affect a person’s ability to care for both their child and themselves. When this happens, it could signal the presence of an underlying mental health condition like postpartum OCD, postpartum depression, or postpartum psychosis. These conditions are more than just a case of the “baby blues” and can impact your ability to keep yourself and your baby safe.*
*A note on safety: If you’re having repeated or uncontrollable thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, don’t hesitate to ask for help. You can contact the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988 from any phone. Their counselors will provide confidential support and resources to help keep you safe.
How long can intrusive thoughts last after birth?
For some parents, intrusive thoughts will go away after a few weeks as they settle into a routine with their new baby. But if a person is living with a condition like postpartum depression, these thoughts may persist for a longer period of time.
Without support, postpartum mental health conditions can persist for months or even years. So if you or someone you care about is experiencing intrusive thoughts and they’re negatively affecting your quality of life, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
How to find relief from postpartum intrusive thoughts
One of the best ways to find relief from postpartum intrusive thoughts is to learn more about them. When you understand where these thoughts are coming from and why so many new parents have them, you’ll be better able to recognize and release them.
Another way to cope with intrusive thoughts is to talk about them. Some new parents may feel ashamed of their intrusive thoughts and worry about being judged for them. But, by opening up to someone you trust (perhaps another parent), you may find that other people you know have experienced the same thing.
If you’re trying to manage your intrusive thoughts on your own but they aren’t getting better, talk to your provider right away. Your doctor (or your baby’s pediatrician) can provide a referral for a mental health provider who can help you navigate any postpartum mental health concerns you might be facing.
In time, with the right support, you can learn to regulate your thoughts, reduce your stress level, and find moments of joy in this important life stage.
Find care with Rula
If you recently welcomed a new baby into the world, life is probably a little stressful right now. Sometimes, all that added stress can lead to intrusive, upsetting thoughts about your baby’s safety. This is a very common experience for new parents and not necessarily cause for concern. However, if your intrusive thoughts are affecting your well-being or ability to parent your child(ren), you should seek professional help right away.
Whether you’re dealing with postpartum depression, postpartum OCD, or another mental health condition, we want you to know that you’re not alone. At Rula, we’re here to help you and your family access the mental health support you need to thrive at all life stages.
When you need to talk to someone, check out our therapist-matching program. In just a few clicks. you can sift through your options, choose an in-network provider, and schedule your first live video session with a therapist or psychiatric provider for as soon as tomorrow.
About the author
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Rula's editorial process
Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
