Key Takeaways
- IFS therapy is an evidence-based treatment that helps you understand and heal different parts of yourself by strengthening your connection to your core self.
- Each part of your mind has a role, and IFS helps you work with — instead of against — them to create inner balance.
- IFS therapy offers a unique way to heal through self-compassion and understanding and can be helpful for trauma, anxiety, and emotional struggles.
Internal family systems (IFS) therapy is an evidence-based treatment approach that helps you understand and heal different parts of yourself through individual therapy sessions.
IFS is based on the idea that your mind is made up of subpersonalities — or parts — which can sometimes be in conflict with each other and with your core self. The self is the confident, compassionate, and whole part of you that can help bring balance. IFS helps you build a healthier relationship with these parts, healing wounds and restoring balance within your mind.
Many people find IFS helpful for healing trauma, reducing anxiety, and improving relationships. Instead of fighting against difficult emotions, this approach encourages you to understand and work with them. By doing so, you can feel more in control, at peace, and connected to yourself.
What happens in internal family systems therapy
IFS therapy helps you understand the different parts of your mind and how they influence your emotions and behaviors. You’ll work with a therapist to recognize these parts, explore the emotions they hold, and develop a healthier relationship with them.
As you do, you’ll learn to release suppressed feelings, address underlying struggles more freely, and find new ways to manage inner conflict. The goal is to lighten emotional burdens, build inner harmony, and strengthen your core self — the calm, confident part of you that can lead with clarity.
Your therapist may use techniques like visualization, journaling, relaxation exercises, or worksheets to help you map out how your parts interact. These tools can help you safely explore your emotions, understand patterns, and create meaningful change.
The self in IFS therapy
At the core of IFS therapy is the idea that everyone has a true “self” — the calm, confident, and compassionate part of you that can bring balance to your inner world. When you strengthen your connection to your self, it becomes easier to lead with clarity and care.
According to IFS, the self naturally embodies key qualities known as the eight Cs:
- Confidence
- Calmness
- Creativity
- Clarity
- Curiosity
- Courage
- Compassion
- Connectedness
It also includes the five Ps:
- Presence
- Patience
- Perspective
- Persistence
- Playfulness
These traits help you respond to challenges with understanding rather than fear or avoidance.
Identifying your parts
IFS therapists view the mind as different parts, each with their own roles and perspectives. These parts generally fall into three groups:
- Managers: Work to keep things under control, helping you stay organized, productive, and protected from emotional pain
- Exiles: Hold deep wounds, often carrying shame, fear, or sadness from past experiences
- Firefighters: Step in when distress becomes too intense, using distraction or coping mechanisms — sometimes in unhealthy ways, like substance use or emotional numbing
While these parts may seem at odds, IFS helps you recognize that they all have good intentions. By understanding their roles, you can help them step back from extreme behaviors and work together in a healthier way.
The IFS process
Therapists guide clients through a six-step process to explore and heal their inner worlds:
- Find: Identify the parts of yourself that need attention.
- Focus: Bring awareness to these parts and what they’re feeling.
- Flesh out: Describe these parts and their role in your thoughts and behaviors.
- Feel: Notice how you feel toward these parts and any emotions they bring up.
- Befriend: Approach your parts with curiosity and acceptance rather than judgment.
- Understand their fears: Explore what these parts fear might happen if they changed their role.
Through this process, you’ll shift how your parts function, reduce inner conflict, and create lasting emotional change.
How long does IFS therapy take?
The length of therapy depends on your history, goals, and how ready you feel to engage in the process. Some people notice changes quickly, while others take more time to fully heal and integrate their parts. No matter the pace, the goal is to create lasting emotional balance and self-acceptance.
The care you need, when you need it
Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey
Who can benefit from IFS therapy
IFS therapy can help if you feel stuck in patterns of self-doubt, inner conflict, or overwhelming emotions.
Many people seek IFS when they experience:
- Feeling like different parts of them are in conflict (for example, one part wants change while another part resists)
- Harsh self-criticism or feelings of shame
- Trouble managing emotions like anger, fear, or sadness
- A history of trauma or painful experiences that affect daily life
- Feeling disconnected from themselves or unsure of who they are
IFS is used to treat a variety of mental health conditions, including:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Eating disorders
- Attachment or relational concerns
- Chronic pain
- Substance use disorders and other types of addiction
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Other trauma-related conditions
Some people choose IFS over other treatment approaches because it offers a different way to approach healing. Instead of solely talking through problems, IFS helps you explore your inner world, understand why certain emotions or behaviors exist, and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Finding the right internal family systems therapist
Getting started with IFS therapy begins with finding a therapist trained in this approach. You can start by searching online directories, asking for referrals, or checking therapist credentials to see if they have IFS training.
When choosing a therapist, look for someone who makes you feel safe and understood. A good IFS therapist should be patient, compassionate, and experienced in guiding clients through their inner world. It can also help to find someone who has specific experience with your concerns — whether you need help addressing trauma, anxiety, or relationship issues.
Trusting your therapist is important. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s OK to keep looking until you find someone who feels like the right fit for you.
Find care with Rula
IFS therapy can help you understand and heal different parts of yourself, creating more balance and self-compassion. Instead of fighting against difficult emotions, this approach helps you work with them to heal wounds and reduce inner conflict. Many people find IFS helpful for trauma, anxiety, and self-criticism. If you’re interested in this approach, trained IFS therapists are available to support you on your journey.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
About the author
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
Rula's editorial process
Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
