How to deal with loneliness and overcome isolation

Loneliness can surface when we feel overlooked, disconnected, or abandoned by the people around us. But did you know that the Surgeon General of the United States recently declared loneliness  a public health concern? In recent years, loneliness has become a pervasive, widespread problem. It’s even been referred to as an epidemic. And it turns out that loneliness doesn’t just affect your mental and emotional well-being. Chronic loneliness has also been shown to significantly increase your risk of serious health problems. 

Experts say that the increase in loneliness is due to a couple of recent societal shifts. We spend more time online instead of meeting in person. We also relocate more frequently and are still trying to recover from the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

These aren’t small changes, and it’s going to take some time for us to adjust to them. But in the meantime, it’s important to remember that you have the power to build meaningful relationships and deepen your sense of connection with the world around you.  

Understanding loneliness

Loneliness is an emotional state and an experience that varies by person. It occurs when there’s a disconnect between the types of relationships we have and the types we wish we had. Loneliness can cause feelings of isolation and separation, and most people know what it feels like. But different people have different needs for connection, and a life that feels lonely to one person might be fulfilling to another. 

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Being alone is about proximity. You’re alone when you’re by yourself and no one is nearby. Loneliness, however, is an emotional experience. You can feel lonely even if you’re surrounded by other people. 

Occasional loneliness happens to most people throughout their lives. And loneliness isn’t a diagnosis or mental health condition. But long-term, severe loneliness can have some serious psychological and physical effects, including:

Mental effects of loneliness

• Greater risk of depression and overall mental distress
• Greater risk of suicide, especially for older adults
• Increased difficulty navigating everyday stressors
• Increased risk of dementia and cognitive decline

Physical effects of loneliness

• Systemic inflammation
• Increased mortality
• Increased risk of heart disease and stroke
• Greater risk of type 2 diabetes
• Compromised immune system
• Sleep disturbances
• Chronic pain
• Increased risk of Parkinson’s disease

Ten ways to boost your mood when you’re feeling lonely 

If you’re feeling lonely, the following tips can help you strengthen your sense of connection:

1. Get involved in your community. Join a virtual or in-person club or class that relates to your interests. Consider volunteering for an organization whose mission you support.
2. Strengthen your existing relationships. Sometimes, rekindling a relationship is as simple as sending a text or email or making a phone call. 
3. Spend time with animals. Ask any animal lover, and they’ll tell you there’s nothing quite like the companionship of an animal friend. If you don’t have a pet or can’t have one right now, consider volunteering at an animal shelter.
4. Engage in hobbies and interests. It’s easy to get bogged down with work and other responsibilities. But you’re more likely to meet other people who share your interests if you make time for activities and hobbies that you enjoy.
5. Take good care of your body. Most of us know that exercise is good for the body and  the mind. Taking good care of your health can help you reduce the impact of loneliness and give you more energy to build connections.
6. Spend time in nature. Whether it’s a gentle stroll in your local park or an overnight camping trip, spending time outdoors can do wonders for your sense of connection to the world around you. You could also consider joining an outdoor-focused group, like a hiking or bird-watching club.
7. Build a daily routine. Caring for your mental and physical health is easier when you have a predictable routine. Be sure to incorporate self-care practices that can help you build community.
8. Find joy in the small things. Research shows that gratitude is a powerful tool for improving mental and physical health. So keep an eye out for the good things in your life, and look for opportunities to pay it forward with small acts of kindness.
9. Lean into mindfulness or spiritual practices. Connecting to your breath through a mindfulness exercise or deepening your connection to your faith community can nurture your spirit and help you feel less alone.
10. Seek the support of a therapist. Therapy is a place where you can practice building a healthy connection with another person. It can also help you learn to manage uncomfortable emotions and address any challenges that might be keeping you from building relationships.

Find care with Rula

Research shows that we’re healthier and happier when we feel close to other people. So when we feel isolated and alone, it can take a toll on our well-being. Fortunately, if you’re struggling with loneliness, therapy can help you learn to improve your sense of connection on your terms. 

When you need support for your mental health, Rula makes it easy to find the accessible, affordable care you deserve. In just a few clicks, you can select a provider who takes your insurance and make your first appointment as early as this week. Whether you’re interested in individual, couples, or family therapy, we’re here to help ensure that you get the right support for your needs, all from the comfort of home.

Find a therapist with Rula