How to manage your emotions: A comprehensive guide

Our emotions play an important role in shaping how we live our lives. They can influence our behaviors, values, and connections with others. At times, it can even feel like the journey of life is one big emotional rollercoaster. But learning how to understand and manage your emotions is essential to your mental health, well-being, and overall quality of life. 

If you often struggle to cope with difficult emotions, explore how practical tips and strategies can help you live a more balanced life.

What is emotional control?

Emotional control refers to a person’s ability to regulate their emotions and emotional reactions. When a person has emotional control, it means they understand how to recognize, manage, and respond to what they’re feeling and experiencing.

While it may sound simple, learning how to regulate your emotions is an important skill that’s linked to better overall well-being. Knowing how to control your emotions can help with making decisions, connecting with others, and improving your performance at work and school. 

Understanding emotional flooding

If you’ve ever been so overwhelmed by your emotions that it was hard to think clearly, you may have experienced emotional flooding. Often triggered by stress or conflict, emotional flooding makes it difficult to process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. And without the proper support, emotional flooding can eventually lead to strained interpersonal relationships, emotional dysregulation, and unmet personal needs. 

Emotional flooding can happen to anyone, but it’s more common among people with past trauma, insecure attachment styles, and mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Seven healthy strategies for managing your emotions

When we talk about emotional regulation, it’s important to note we’re not trying to repress or suppress feelings. Instead, the focus is on finding healthier ways to experience and express those emotions. Below are seven tips for managing your emotions. 

1. Understand the impact of your emotions

Before you change the way you manage your emotions, it’s helpful to understand how they’re impacting you. Next time you find yourself having an emotional reaction, pause to consider some of the following questions.

• What am I feeling right now? 
• What happened to make me feel this way?
• How do these feelings make me want to act?
• Is there a healthier way to manage these feelings?

2. Write down your feelings

Journaling is an effective tool for reducing stress, increasing self-awareness, and fostering personal growth. For people who struggle to manage their emotions, regularly writing in a journal can provide useful insights into harmful behavior patterns that may be impacting their emotions. 

A few prompts to help increase emotional awareness and control include:

• What emotions did I experience today? What triggered those emotions?
• What challenges did I face today, and how did I respond to those situations?

3. Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mind-body practices like mindfulness and meditation can help reduce stress, improve focus, and bring clarity to the present moment. One study found that meditating for 13 minutes per day for 8 weeks helped enhance memory, mood, and emotional regulation. This suggests that even short, consistent meditation practices can have significant positive effects on mental health and cognitive function.

Next time you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, try one of these techniques to cultivate greater emotional awareness: 

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Find a quiet location, and take several deep breaths to center yourself. Tense the muscles in your toes for 5 to 10 seconds, then relax for 15 to 30 seconds. Continue with each muscle group, slowly working your way up from your toes to your face. 
• Guided meditation: If you’re new to meditation, consider using guided meditation focused on overcoming difficult emotions. These guided practices can provide step-by-step instructions and support to help you get started and effectively navigate emotional challenges.

4. Try breathing exercises

Taking a deep breath to calm down isn’t just for kids. In fact, deep breathing exercises are an effective tool for anyone looking to better understand their emotions and how to respond to them. 

To try deep breathing at home, find a quiet and comfortable space. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and focus on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your body. Even if you become distracted, allow yourself to focus on your breath without any judgment.

5. Practice positive self-talk 

Positive self-talk is another self-management tool that can help people handle difficult emotions. When overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s easy to resort to blame, shame, and negativity. Instead, try showing yourself compassion through positive self-talk. For example, instead of thinking “I always make mistakes,” tell yourself “I’m proud of my efforts and doing my best.” This shift in mindset can help reduce stress and build resilience for managing difficult emotions.

6. Find time for regular exercise

Regular physical activity provides people with a healthy outlet for expressing their emotions. It’s known to reduce stress, increase resilience, and release endorphins that improve mood. Some research suggests that a combination of aerobic jogging and mindfulness-based yoga can help improve emotional regulation, but the most effective form of physical activity is something that you find enjoyable. Finding an activity that you enjoy and can stick with is key, as consistency is important for reaping the long-term benefits of exercise on emotional well-being.

7. Seek professional guidance

If you’re easily overwhelmed by your emotions, consider seeking professional mental health support. Therapy offers a supportive space to identify harmful thoughts and behaviors, process trauma, and increase your emotional awareness. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) are two types of therapy that can help you learn how to manage your emotions. 

Find care with Rula

If you’re struggling to manage your emotions or have noticed that your emotional reactions are impacting your quality of life, consider meeting with a mental health professional. Emotional dysregulation can be a sign of an underlying mental health condition or concern.

Rula makes it easier for people to access the care they need to manage their mental health symptoms. And with our therapist-matching program, you can meet with an in-network provider from the comfort of your home as soon as this week.

Find a therapist with Rula