How to calm yourself down when you’re anxious

Anxiety is an emotion that everyone experiences sometimes. It’s often the result of stress, worry, or uncertainty, and it creates discomfort in our minds and bodies. One of the most challenging things about anxiety is that it can leave us feeling stuck. We don’t always know how to move through it when it becomes overwhelming. 

When your heart is pounding, your stomach is in knots, and your thoughts are racing, it can be difficult to soothe yourself. But fortunately, there are some science-backed techniques that can help. By learning some coping skills and practicing them ahead of time, you’ll have the tools you need to reduce your anxiety.

What is anxiety?

When it comes to understanding anxiety, it’s important to know that there is a big difference between the anxiety brought on by normal, everyday stressors and living with a clinical anxiety disorder.  

This gets confusing because we tend to use the word “anxiety” to refer to both a feeling and a condition in everyday conversation. But the main difference between these two experiences is how they impact our everyday lives and what’s required to resolve them.

Everyday anxiety is typically a response to a specific event or trigger, and it will resolve in a reasonable amount of time. For someone with an anxiety disorder, the symptoms don’t go away on their own. Without support, they can become increasingly severe, creating a serious impact on your overall quality of life. Fortunately, anxiety disorders are highly treatable, and with the right support, you can learn to manage your symptoms and improve your well-being.

While some of the coping strategies we’ll discuss below can be helpful in managing both clinical and non-clinical anxiety, people with anxiety disorders often benefit from professional help. 

Six ways to reduce anxiety 

If you consider yourself an anxious person or someone who’s prone to worry, you’re not alone. Many people face frequent struggles with anxiety. Research shows that over 30% of adults in the U.S. will face an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. If you or someone you care about is experiencing frequent, severe anxiety, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. 

But there are also some strategies you can use to manage your anxiety on your own.

1. Get moving. Exercise has been shown to help reduce anxiety. Our brains are generally only able to focus on one thing at a time. So doing something safely strenuous with your body can help take your mind away from anxious thoughts. Look for ways to incorporate movement you enjoy into your weekly schedule. 
2. Monitor your substance use. There are certain substances, like caffeine and nicotine, that may increase anxiety, so do your best to avoid or limit them.
3. Practice stress management. There are many ways to keep your stress levels in check, and you might need to experiment with a few to find what works best for you. For example, you can try breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, yoga, or journaling.
4. Pay attention to triggers. Notice what happens right before your anxiety increases. Are there certain people, places, sensations, or situations that seem to bring you more anxiety? Identifying these situations  can help you know when you might need to spend some time preparing for them or setting boundaries. 
5. Nurture your support network. Spending time with friends and loved ones is good for your mental health. And if you know someone else who also lives with anxiety, talk to them about your experience. They might be able to shed some light on what’s worked for them and help you feel less alone. 
6. Stay focused on treatment. If you’re working with a mental health professional to manage your anxiety disorder, be consistent with your appointments, and practice the coping strategies you’re learning in therapy. If medication is part of your treatment plan, be sure to take your medication as directed by your provider.

How to help someone with anxiety 

If someone you care about is living with an anxiety disorder, know that there are some things you can do to help.

• Learn about anxiety disorders. This will help you better understand your friend or loved one’s experience. If your loved one experiences panic attacks or other forms of severe anxiety, knowing how to spot the warning signs can help you know when they may need your support.
• Don’t minimize their experience. Sometimes, it might seem like your loved one is having an outsized response to a minor stressor or inconvenience. But know that, to them, the anxiety is very real and difficult to control. Remember, anxiety is not a conscious choice.
• Respect their limits. It might be tempting to encourage a loved one to confront the cause of their anxiety. But this is rarely effective and could worsen symptoms.
• Offer validation. Anxiety doesn’t have to be “real” to you to have an impact on another person. Saying something like “I noticed you’ve been avoiding driving lately, and you seem pretty worried about getting behind the wheel. I know that must be hard. Is there anything I can do?” can help them feel supported, seen, and heard. Making a supportive observation, rather than placing your opinion on it, is the key here. 
• Encourage professional help. If your loved one is showing signs of an anxiety disorder, talk to them about treatment options. You could also offer to help them find a therapist who takes their insurance or help with other practical concerns, like transportation, childcare, or anything else that might make it easier for them to attend therapy. 

Treatment options for anxiety disorders

While anxiety disorders can be challenging to live with, there are several effective treatment options for these conditions. 

• Therapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are commonly used to treat anxiety disorders. CBT works by helping people identify the unhelpful thought patterns that are contributing to their anxiety. They then work to replace those anxious thoughts with more helpful ones. ACT is a newer anxiety treatment that incorporates mindfulness techniques and goal-setting to help people reduce the discomfort caused by their anxiety.
• Medication: In addition to therapy, medication is often used to treat anxiety disorders. Research suggests that combining both therapy and medication may be more effective than using either one of these treatments alone. If you’re interested in trying medication for anxiety, consider talking to a psychiatric provider or other mental health professional.
• Lifestyle: Therapy and medication can be incredibly effective in reducing anxiety. But there are some other changes you can make to support your well-being. Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and making time for self-care can support your well-being as you work toward managing your anxiety.

Find care with Rula

Whether you’re experiencing everyday anxiety or living with an anxiety disorder, know that you’re not alone and help is available. While there are times when it’s best to work with a mental health professional, there are a variety of techniques you can use to manage your symptoms on your own.  Learning about anxiety, practicing stress-management techniques, and making time for regular exercise are just a few ways you can keep your anxiety at bay. 

If you need affordable, timely access to specialized mental healthcare, we invite you to explore Rula. With our therapist-matching program, you can find a provider who takes your insurance and make an appointment as early as this week. And thanks to our convenient teletherapy platform, you can attend your therapy sessions from the comfort of home at a time that works best for you.

Find a therapist with Rula