Supporting your loved one with PTSD

When a family member or friend has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it can be hard to know what to do to help. You probably wish nothing more than to see them healthy and at peace. But your loved one’s diagnosis might be taking a toll on your well-being too. 

Providing the support your loved one needs throughout their journey starts with a deeper understanding of this condition. 

Understand how PTSD affects your loved one

PTSD is a complex trauma disorder. It can arise out of chronic or acute traumatic events and affect people in different ways. 

If a loved one has been diagnosed with PTSD, you might witness them behaving in ways you don’t understand. They might push you away despite your efforts to help. This can be a confusing experience, but remember their behavior might not be intentional. Trauma can change a person’s brain and take a lasting toll on their mental health. 

You can deepen your understanding of your loved one’s experience by familiarizing yourself with common PTSD symptoms, which include: 

• Flashbacks or nightmares of the traumatic event
• Social isolation 
• Jumpiness 
• Frequent irritability
• Difficulty sleeping
• Frequent, sudden mood swings
• Trouble with focus and concentration

If your loved one is exhibiting any of these symptoms, you could feel scared, confused, frustrated, or any number of other challenging emotions at the same time. Just remember that your feelings are valid and you deserve support too. And while PTSD symptoms can be hard for everyone involved, know they can be managed with the right support.

Creating space for deeper understanding and support

If you’re struggling to initiate a conversation about PTSD with your loved one, you’re not alone. Most people aren’t taught how to have tough discussions about mental health, so it can be hard to know where to begin. You might worry you’ll say the wrong thing or even make things worse. 

The truth is that there’s no perfect way to have this conversation, and it’s OK to make mistakes. By taking a little time to prepare, using some of the tips below, you can show your loved one that you care and help them feel less alone. 

Consider the time and place 

Talking about PTSD can be a delicate matter — especially when bringing it up for the first time. So, be intentional when you choose a time and place for this conversation. Look for a quiet, private space where you won’t be interrupted. Choose a time that works for you and your loved one, when neither of you will feel rushed.

Respect their boundaries

If your loved one seems resistant to talk about PTSD, don’t force the issue. Simply let them know that you care and you’ll be there when they’re ready to talk. You can also ask if it would be OK to check in with them in a week or so, and then follow up at that time. However, if your loved one is showing any signs that they might be unsafe, don’t hesitate to seek outside help.*

*A note on safety: If you or a loved one is in emotional distress or a suicidal crisis, don’t hesitate to call or text 988. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7, confidential support with trained crisis counselors.

Listen actively

When a loved one is struggling, it’s natural to want to find an immediate solution. But sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen. Show your loved one you want to understand what they’re experiencing, even if it’s difficult to hear. Reflect what you’ve heard, avoid judgement, and offer empathy. 

For example, you could say something like, “It sounds like you’ve been having nightmares lately and it’s really affecting your sleep. It makes sense why you’re exhausted. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

Offer logistical help

PTSD can take a toll on executive functioning skills like organization and time management. So if your loved one is having difficulty making appointments or taking other steps to care for their mental health, offer a helping hand. This might include driving them to therapy, watching their children while they’re at their appointment, or offering to make dinner during a busy week. 

Know their triggers

While you can’t prevent your loved one from being triggered or having a flashback, knowing what might elicit a strong reaction is helpful — especially during early recovery. Use your own observations but don’t make assumptions. Ask your loved one about their triggers and make a plan for navigating them together.

Encourage them to ask for help

Most people with PTSD require professional help to manage their mental health. So if your loved one isn’t already accessing care, encourage them to do so. You can also offer to help them find a trauma-focused provider who takes their insurance.

Nurturing yourself while caring for others

When a loved one is living with a mental health condition like PTSD, it can affect everyone in their support network. But to be there for your friend or family member, you need to nurture your own well-being too. 

No one can be in a caregiving role 24/7 without a break, and it’s OK to set some boundaries. By taking time for yourself and doing activities that reduce your stress level and lift your spirits, you’ll be better able to help your loved one.

Find care with Rula

It can be hard to watch a loved one navigate PTSD, and it can be hard to know what to do — especially if their diagnosis is affecting you as well. But rest assured that with the right support, your loved one can learn to manage their PTSD symptoms and maintain their mental health. 

With Rula, the specialized care you and your loved ones deserve is just a few clicks away. You can use our therapist-matching program to explore our network of over 10,000 providers, select a therapist who takes your insurance, and make your first live video appointment for as soon as tomorrow. 

Find a therapist with Rula