How you can support someone with body image issues

It can be hard to watch a friend or loved one navigate body image issues. Body image issues are defined as a preoccupation with one’s body weight, shape, or other characteristics. Your loved one might say cruel or harsh things about themselves and their body, become self-conscious, or experience feelings of shame. This can impact their relationships, self-esteem, and ability to function in day-to-day life. 

Body image issues are often rooted in childhood. Research shows that we start forming opinions about our appearance as early as age three. Body image issues are more common than you might think, too. One study revealed that 91% of women experienced some level of body dissatisfaction. 

Body image issues are something to be taken seriously. If left unaddressed, body dissatisfaction can lead to more severe conditions, like eating disorders.  

Your compassionate, non-judgmental support can encourage your loved one to access therapy for their body image issues. Through therapy, they can learn how to challenge negative beliefs about their appearance and make positive changes that benefit their mental and physical health. 

Warning signs of negative body image issues

While we all experience moments of doubt about our appearance, persistent negative thoughts about your shape, size, or gender identity can lead to more serious issues, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders.

Watch out for these signs that someone you care about may have body image issues:

• Persistently talking about being unattractive, too heavy, too skinny, etc.
• Never being satisfied with their appearance
• Comparing themselves to others 
• Focusing on unrealistic beauty standards and feeling flawed
• Using extreme measures such as over-exercising or repetitive dieting to hit a certain body weight or size
• Spending a lot of time on their appearance and prioritizing how they look over their health
• Having feelings of shame, anxiety, and self-consciousness about their bodies
• Avoiding social situations like swimming that make them feel uncomfortable about revealing their body 

Having a negative body image doesn’t just affect a person’s self-esteem; it can also lead to harmful  behaviors, including:

• Excessive dieting
• Over-exercising
• Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder
• Low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety 
• Body objectification and self-comparison

Five ways to support someone with body dissatisfaction

Your compassionate and non-judgmental support can make a big difference in your loved one’s journey with body image issues. 

1. Learn about body insecurity. Read brochures, books, and articles on why people develop negative body image issues. Body insecurity may impact certain communities in different ways. For instance, many people in the LGBTQ+ community have unique body image concerns related to gender identity. Understanding this nuance can help you provide informed support.
2. Embrace active listening. Rather than telling someone how they should feel or what they should do, active listening involves understanding why someone has a negative body image. By paying attention and deferring judgment, you can work together to make positive changes in how they view themselves.
3. Focus on non-appearance-related activities. Pursuing interests you enjoy together — like going for walks, playing music, or doing art — can help your friend or loved one shift their mindset and boost their self-esteem.
4. Encourage them to limit their time on social media. Log on to any social media site, and you’ll be greeted with carefully curated photos that are often filtered and Photoshopped. A meta-analysis of 50 studies from 17 countries found a clear link between social media usage and body image concerns, eating disorders, and poor mental health. Reducing social media use has been shown to significantly improve how people feel about their weight and appearance.
5. Connect them with professional mental health resources. Your loved one may require professional support from a therapist to overcome their body image issues. This is especially important if they’re showing signs of declining health or an eating disorder. 

What to say to someone with body image issues 

When talking with someone who has body image issues, it’s important to always be kind and empathetic. Choose to offer support and encouragement without focusing solely on their appearance. 

Consider the following conversation starters:

• Avoid appearance-related comments. Compliment them on what they can do and who they are, not how they look. For example, you might say things like, “I always enjoy our time together,” or, “You’re a great listener,” rather than, “Have you lost weight?” or, “You look great in those pants.” 
• Affirm your support. Let your friend or loved one know they have your unconditional support and that you’re there if they want to talk. Some people may be resistant to talking about their body dissatisfaction at first. Patience is key. 
• Embrace body neutrality. It’s unrealistic to expect someone to love every aspect of their body, and this can result in them feeling worse. Instead, focus on encouraging body neutrality, in which someone accepts their body as it is and focuses on appreciating everything their body is capable of doing.
• Help remove the stigma. Research shows that men and racial/ethnic minorities often don’t seek help for body image issues or eating disorders. If your friend or loved one is reluctant to seek professional help, let them know it’s possible to connect with a culturally sensitive therapist and receive counseling in a convenient online setting. 

What not to say to someone with body image issues

• Avoid simple solutions. Telling someone they look great and to simply “get over” their insecurities isn’t helpful. Negative body image isn’t a choice, and dismissing it can invalidate their feelings and experience.
• Don’t criticize your own flaws. While you may think you’re being empathetic discussing your own body image struggles with friends, doing this can be harmful. One study found this kind of negative self-talk is linked to body dissatisfaction — both for those who discuss their perceived flaws and others who hear their critiques.
• Be conscious of potential triggers. Inviting a loved one with body image issues out to dinner or clothes shopping can trigger their body dissatisfaction. Consider planning other activities like a walk or bike ride, or going to a concert or museum. Research shows that spending time around people who don’t focus on food, weight, and appearance can have a positive effect on those with body image issues. 
• Don’t minimize their feelings. While you may not fully understand your loved one’s body image issues, don’t try to minimize their feelings. Instead, remind them that their feelings are valid, they deserve love and acceptance, and help for body image issues is available. 

When and how to discuss professional treatment 

If someone you care about is struggling with body dissatisfaction and experiencing symptoms such as depression, anxiety, or an eating disorder, a mental health professional can help. A therapist can help them to challenge negative thinking patterns, address underlying issues, and build confidence. 

Treatment may involve individual talk therapy, group therapy, or family therapy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has proven effective in helping those with a negative body image to change their thoughts and behaviors.

Medication is sometimes prescribed in addition to talk therapy if someone also has symptoms of anxiety and depression. However, it’s important to work with a psychiatric provider to determine if medication is the right option.

Find care with Rula

Sometimes, negative body image issues can be too challenging to handle on your own. If you’re concerned that someone you care about is experiencing health issues, difficulty in day to day activities, an eating disorder, or depression due to body dissatisfaction, encouraging them to speak with a mental health professional can help. 

At Rula, we can connect you with a therapist who’s accepting new clients and accepts your insurance. Talking with a trained mental health professional, who has experience treating negative body image issues, can help you understand the underlying cause of your body dissatisfaction and learn to make peace with your body.

With Rula’s easy-to-use-therapist-matching program, you can find the right provider for your needs and begin treatment as soon as tomorrow.

Get started with Rula today