A guide to healthy coping mechanisms 

Coping mechanisms are strategies people use to deal with unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Some coping mechanisms, like going on a walk to reduce stress, are healthy and help support your well-being. And some coping mechanisms, like avoiding responsibilities by endlessly scrolling on your phone, might create temporary relief but ultimately don’t help you feel better. 

Many people have unconsciously developed unhealthy coping mechanisms, but it’s possible to replace these behaviors with more supportive coping mechanisms. And there’s good reason to do so because healthy coping mechanisms can directly improve your mental and physical health.

What are healthy coping mechanisms?

Coping mechanisms are techniques that can help you deal with stress and emotional discomfort. Healthy coping strategies can make you feel less stressed, calm your dysregulated emotions, and help you think more clearly. You can develop healthy coping mechanisms for stress, trauma, anxiety, depression, and any other conditions or symptoms related to mental health. 

Healthy coping strategies can also help you develop adaptive behaviors, which are learned skills that allow you to deal with everyday situations at home, school, work, or in your community. 

Here are a few other benefits of using healthy coping mechanisms:

• Reduced stress
• Increased emotional resilience and regulation
• Decreased symptoms of mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression
• Improved self-esteem and confidence
• Better cognitive functioning, including memory

What are unhealthy coping mechanisms?

Unhealthy coping mechanisms may provide you with some short-term relief but can make your problems worse in the long run. Unhealthy coping skills may cause you to develop maladaptive behaviors, which are harmful behaviors that you use to protect yourself from difficult emotions. 

These coping strategies and maladaptive behaviors may make you feel numb or help you forget about the problem temporarily. But they tend to make things worse in the long run. Relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage stress, like excessive phone use or overuse of substances, can lead to an overall negative impact on your mental and physical health.

Four ways to develop healthy coping mechanisms

It’s never too late to start building (or adding to) your toolkit of healthy coping mechanisms. Learning new coping mechanisms can take time and conscious effort, so start small and be patient with yourself along the way. 

Here are some steps you can take to start practicing healthy ways to cope with difficult emotions.

1. Identify your triggers and stressors

The first step to developing healthy coping mechanisms is to gain self-awareness by identifying your triggers and stressors. Take time to ask yourself these questions:

• What situations make me feel stressed and less secure? 
• Where in my body do I feel emotions like anger or sadness? 
• How do I currently cope with negative emotions? 
• When was the last time I felt anxious, and what happened right before that feeling?

If you’re not comfortable answering these questions alone, you can explore your answers with a therapist. In addition, next time you have an upsetting emotion, write it down somewhere you’ll remember to go back to (like your phone’s notes app). Be sure to include what happened to cause the uncomfortable emotion and what you did or didn’t do to recover from the unsettling experience.

2. Build a toolkit of strategies

Start building your personal toolkit of healthy coping mechanisms by including activities you already love to do, like talking to your friends, going on a walk, cooking, or watching your favorite movie. Next time you’re in distress, try one of the activities that you’ve identified that you already enjoy. Then, explore other coping strategies that you haven’t tried. 

3. Incorporate routine and structure

Developing healthy coping mechanisms will include creating a routine and structure around your coping skills. There are healthy coping strategies that you can do every day, like going to bed at the same time every night or taking a shower every day. There are also healthy coping skills that you can use in moments of distress, like grounding exercises. 

So ask yourself: 

• What do I need to do every day to maintain emotional stability? 
• And what are some things that I can do when I feel an increase in stress or challenging emotions?

4. Seek professional guidance if needed

The process of creating healthy coping mechanisms looks different for everyone. Sometimes, you may need a therapist to help guide you toward healthy coping skills. Seeking professional guidance can provide you with a safe and judgment-free space to develop healthy coping mechanisms and uncover behaviors that may be stopping you from having healthy coping skills.

Common healthy coping skills

There’s no definitive list of health coping skills because there are so many to choose from. But a few of the most common healthy coping mechanisms include:

Exercise

• Taking a walk every day
• Finding a form of gentle movement that you enjoy
• Working out at the gym or going to an exercise class

Mindfulness

• Meditating
• Writing in a journal
• Using daily positive affirmations
• Practicing deep breathing
• Reframing your thoughts from negative to positive

Hobbies and social activities

• Listening to your favorite music
• Talking on the phone with a friend
• Finding or doing a hobby you enjoy
• Reading a book for fun
• Hanging out with a friend
• Watching (a reasonable amount of) your favorite TV show or movie
• Spending time in nature by yourself or with friends
• Painting, drawing, or coloring in a coloring book

Self-care and daily routines

• Seeing a mental health professional
• Getting enough sleep every night
• Drinking enough water every day
• Seeking religious support
• Eating foods that give you energy
• Using a calendar to organize your day
• Establishing good sleep habits
• Creating boundaries with friends, family, and co-workers

Find care with Rula

Everyone needs healthy coping skills to support their physical and mental well-being. While it may take some time and effort to develop healthy coping strategies, know that you are not alone and help is always available.

At Rula, we make it simple to find the right therapist for your unique needs. Our therapist-matching platform can help you find someone who takes your insurance and treats your specific mental health concerns. Plus, our extensive network of therapists means you can meet with a provider virtually as soon as tomorrow.

Find a therapist with Rula