Opening up about your PTSD

After experiencing a frightening, dangerous, or life-threatening event, it’s completely normal to feel reluctant to talk about it. The memories can be so painful and overwhelming that our brains may try to protect us by suppressing them. 

People with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), though, experience intrusive thoughts, feelings, and emotions long after the event. They might avoid people, places, or situations that remind them of the trauma. However, research shows that suppressing these thoughts may increase their frequency.

When it comes to navigating PTSD, building a support network and talking with a mental health professional can be key in your healing process. Research shows social support has the potential to improve PTSD treatment outcomes.

Is it helpful to talk about trauma with others?

Sharing your experiences of trauma can feel intimidating and painful. You might fear reliving the details, being judged, or being misunderstood. It’s common for people with PTSD to avoid these conversations, often pulling away from friends and family and seeking solitude as a coping strategy.

While distancing yourself from others might provide temporary relief, it can intensify feelings of fear, powerlessness, and other trauma-related symptoms over time. Talking about your PTSD is a courageous step toward healing, allowing you to release the weight of your trauma rather than trying to manage it alone. Sharing your story with supportive friends, fellow PTSD survivors, and a therapist trained in trauma-informed care can give you a safe space to process your emotions and begin your healing journey.

How to talk to people in your life about PTSD

Sharing your PTSD experiences with friends and loved ones might seem overwhelming at first, but it can also help you with the healing process. 

Your loved ones might not fully understand what you’re going through unless you discuss your experiences and emotions. Opening up about your PTSD can help them understand how PTSD affects your life and also how they can best support you.

If you choose to talk about your PTSD, it’s important to do so in a way that feels safe and supportive for you. Remember that what happened to you isn’t your fault and coping with the aftermath of trauma can be incredibly difficult. You have control over what you decide to share and with whom.

Discuss your PTSD symptoms and triggers

Talking with close friends and loved ones about your specific symptoms can help them understand and provide the support you need when you’re struggling. It can create a safe space for mutual understanding and strengthen your connections with those who care about you.

While symptoms of PTSD typically appear within the first three months after a traumatic event, they can sometimes take months or even years to appear. Understanding this delayed onset is important for you and your loved ones, as it provides insight into how PTSD may develop over time. Openly discussing these possibilities can help everyone prepare for potential challenges and help you navigate them together with compassion.

PTSD symptoms are grouped into four main categories: 

• Intrusive memories: This includes reliving the trauma through vivid nightmares or flashbacks and experiencing intense emotional and physical reactions when reminded of the event. 
• Avoidance: Someone with PTSD might avoid people, places, or activities that remind them of the trauma. They might also suppress thoughts or feelings related to the event. 
• Negative thoughts and moods: If you’re experiencing PTSD, you might feel guilty, irritable, ashamed, or blame yourself. Additionally, you might lose interest in activities you used to enjoy or find it hard to connect with others. 
• Physical and emotional changes: People with PTSD often report challenges with sleeping or focusing. It’s also common to experience hyperarousal, or being easily startled. You might turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use to manage difficult emotions. 

It can also be helpful to discuss your triggers. Many people may think your PTSD is purely rooted in the past, not realizing how everyday experiences can cause you to relive the traumatic event. Specific people, places, sounds, and smells, can be triggers, bringing back vivid memories of the trauma. 

While some people can easily identify their triggers, others may benefit from the guidance of a trained therapist to uncover and understand them. Recognizing and addressing triggers is an important step in managing PTSD.

Am I trauma dumping? 

Some people with PTSD worry about trauma dumping — also known as oversharing details of traumatic experiences or emotional distress with others without warning or invitation. This can happen when someone talks about their trauma at an inappropriate time or place, leaving the other person unsure how to respond. 

The difference between having a healthy discussion about your PTSD and trauma dumping lies in respecting boundaries and having both parties be prepared and willing to engage in conversation.

Don’t let the fear of trauma dumping prevent you from opening up to a loved one about what you’re experiencing, though. Talking about your PTSD is the first step toward receiving support and understanding from those closest to you. Remember, you don’t have to share everything all at once. Opening up about your PTSD is a personal journey, and your timeline should reflect your comfort and needs.

How to talk to a provider about PTSD

PTSD is a treatable mental health condition, and many people find relief through different forms of talk therapy. Trauma-focused therapy provides a safe and supportive space to talk about your PTSD, process your emotions, develop healthier coping strategies, and rebuild a sense of safety and self-worth. 

Here are a few tips: 

• Give yourself time. Trauma therapy involves discussing deeply personal memories and emotions related to the traumatic event. Building trust with your therapist is important, and it’s normal for this process to take time. If starting with smaller, less emotionally intense topics is more comfortable, that’s OK. Healing from trauma is a personal journey, and you set the pace.
• Share in other ways. If it’s too difficult to talk about your trauma, you can always write down your thoughts and feelings and share them with your therapist. Remember, therapy is flexible, and it’s always OK to pause if the process feels too intense.
• Advocate for your needs. It’s important to feel heard and validated in therapy. If you believe your therapist is dismissive or minimizing your feelings, don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself. You deserve a therapist who supports your needs. If it’s not a good match, consider a different therapist or therapeutic option to find the right fit for you.

Find care with Rula

If you’ve experienced a traumatic event and are trying to manage symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, and depression that are impacting your day-to-day life, help is available. 

With Rula, our matching tool connects you with one of our over 10,000+ therapists dedicated to providing the care you deserve. In just seconds, you can find a therapist trained in trauma-informed care who can meet with you via live video as soon as tomorrow.

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