Key Takeaways
- Emotional resilience is your ability to bounce back after life’s stressful or traumatic experiences.
- Genetics and early childhood experiences play a large role in developing resilience, but you can learn this skill at any age.
- Having emotional resilience has many physical and mental health benefits, including a reduced risk of mental health conditions and a longer life.
Emotional resilience is one of the most important skills you can develop for your mental health and well-being. It’s what allows you to cope with life’s inevitable ups and downs and keep moving forward even when things feel hard.
Some of the biggest benefits of emotional resilience include improved physical and mental health, higher reported happiness,and living a longer life. While emotional resilience might come more naturally to some people, the good news is that it’s a skill anyone can learn and strengthen.
What it means to be emotionally resilient
Emotional resilience — sometimes just referred to as resilience — is a complex concept. In essence, it’s the ability to bounce back from or adapt to life’s inevitable challenges, traumas, and changes.
Researchers are still studying what makes some people more resilient than others. Why do some children overcome trauma, for example, while others face its effects for the rest of their lives?
While we’re still learning, experts have discovered that emotional resilience is a skill that can be learned and strengthened over time. Early childhood experiences and genetics can play a big role, but it’s never too late to learn this skill. It’s not a personality trait that some are born with and others can’t develop.
Research shows that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. In other words, almost all of us have a certain level of emotional resilience. We confront challenges every day that we’re able to navigate and overcome.
Resilience also doesn’t mean that you never experience hardship or that you’re not emotionally affected when difficult things happen. It just means that you have the ability to rebound from these challenges and know how to overcome them with time.
People who are emotionally resilient are able to:
- Adapt to change without becoming overwhelmed
- Manage strong emotions — like anger, fear, or sadness — in healthy ways
- Stay optimistic, even in difficult situations
- Reach out for support when they need it
- Maintain a sense of perspective during challenges
- Learn and grow from life’s hardships
- Set realistic goals and work toward them, even when it feels tough
- Stay grounded in their values and beliefs, using them as a guide during hard times
- Take care of their physical and emotional health to stay strong
- Find meaning or purpose in challenges and setbacks
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Why emotional resilience is important
There are many mental and even physical health benefits to developing emotional resilience. These include:
Lower risk of developing mental health conditions
Emotional resilience is one of the key protectors against developing mental health conditions. It can even act as a buffer for other risk factors. For example, children who have experienced abuse or neglect are statistically at higher risk of developing mental health conditions like depression or substance use disorders as adults. But by building resilience, people can protect themselves against these risks.
Reduced stress
Everyone goes through stressful events, and being resilient doesn’t mean you never get stressed. But if you’ve learned and practiced the skill of resilience, you’re able to navigate stressful situations without getting overwhelmed. This can help you manage your stress levels — especially chronic stress.
Better cardiovascular and immune health
Because of the way emotional resilience can protect you against stress, people with resilience also tend to have better physical health. Stress can lead to a variety of physical issues, like heart problems and a weakened immune system.
Protection against traumatic events
Research shows that most people will go through a traumatic event at least once in their lives. But only around six percent of the population experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a mental health condition that can develop after trauma.
While there are many risk factors putting some people at higher risk of developing PTSD, emotional resilience can protect you against the most severe effects of trauma. And if you do have PTSD, practicing emotional resilience can help you manage your symptoms.
Longer life
Research has shown that emotionally resilient people also live longer lives. This might be due to emotional resilience defending us against the impacts of chronic stress, which can shorten your life. Less stress means better cardiovascular health, better sleep, and a stronger immune system.
A more positive outlook
Lastly, one of the best benefits of emotional resilience is the ability to feel more positive emotions — in other words, to report higher levels of happiness. People who are resilient tend to take a more hopeful or optimistic view, even in stressful circumstances.
Tips for developing emotional resilience
Resilience isn’t something you’re either born with or not. It’s a skill. And, just like any other skill, it can be practiced and strengthened. There are some biological factors, but much of developing emotional resilience is within your control.
These habits can help build emotional resilience.
Practice emotional awareness
People who have a higher level of emotional awareness tend to be more resilient. Emotional awareness involves identifying strong feelings that arise. Instead of pushing them away, try to notice your feelings and even name them. Maintain an attitude of curiosity and recognize emotional warning signs or triggers. When you have more awareness over your emotions, you may be able to process and regulate them more effectively.
Have one healthy adult connection
Research has determined that one of the most impactful factors that strengthens resilience in children is having a positive relationship with at least one adult in their lives. We can help children in our lives to be more resilient by cultivating strong and healthy relationships with them. You can also consider investing in your current relationships. Having someone you can count on or trust can make a difference at any age.
Join a community
Another factor consistently linked to improved resilience is having a sense of belonging to a spiritual or cultural community. Think about the communities that you belong to and find ways to build stronger connections with them.
For example, are there ways that you can connect more deeply with your spirituality or your cultural background? Can you join another type of community built around hobbies or shared interests? Having a sense of belonging can go a long way in protecting you against the effects of stress and trauma.
Practice basic self-care
When our basic needs aren’t met, we’re naturally more vulnerable to the effects of stress and other hardships. So make sure you’re practicing self-care. Self-care doesn’t need to be complex or expensive. It can look like getting enough sleep every night, finding exercise you enjoy, or getting treatment for any medical or mental health concerns.
Nurture hope
People who are emotionally resilient share many traits, but one important factor is having a hopeful attitude. People who are resilient tend to find optimism, even when things don’t go their way. This is easier said than done, but intentionally remaining hopeful and finding meaning can help you become more resilient.
You might start by keeping a gratitude journal that you write in when you first wake up every day. It’s not about ignoring your feelings or pretending everything’s OK. Rather, it’s about choosing to see the bright side of situations and focusing on the good in our lives.
See a therapist
You don’t have to wait until you’re experiencing a crisis to start going to therapy. Working with a therapist can help us navigate the everyday challenges and stressors you experience in life. A therapist can support you in building emotional resilience, processing our challenging emotions like disappointment or grief, and learning healthy coping mechanisms that can make it easier to face whatever life throws our way.
When we are working to grow emotional resilience, it’s best to start with small steps. Before tackling the biggest challenges you’re facing, we work on how we are coping with and adapting within our day-to-day lives. For example, we might focus on coping when we wake up in a bad mood, get cut off in traffic, or have an unexpected change in our work schedule.
Find care with Rula
Emotional resilience is an essential life skill that can help you live a happier, healthier, and even longer life. Even if you don’t describe yourself as an emotionally resilient person, there are many ways to strengthen this skill. Seeing a therapist can be an important part of building your resilience — especially if you’ve experienced trauma.
Rula has helped hundreds of thousands of patients find affordable, quality, in-network therapy. You can start working with a therapist as soon as tomorrow to start working on improving resilience.
About the author
Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
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