Emotional intelligence allows people to recognize their feelings, manage their emotions, and understand how their feelings and behavior impact others.
Our quiz can help you better understand your emotional intelligence and take steps to improve it.
If you’d like to increase your emotional intelligence, working with a therapist can help.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions. People with high emotional intelligence can recognize their feelings, regulate their responses, and understand how emotions affect themselves and others.
It’s also a skill you can develop. Take our free emotional intelligence test to understand your strengths and areas for growth. Additionally, working with a qualified mental health provider can support you in building greater emotional awareness and improving your emotional intelligence over time.
Emotional intelligence quiz
Our brief quiz can help you learn more about your current emotional intelligence. The questions touch on the five key elements of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, empathy, self-regulation, social skills, and motivation.
Focusing on these areas can help you support the development of your emotional intelligence over time. But don’t worry if this skill doesn’t come naturally to you. You might not have been taught emotional intelligence when you were a child. This may be particularly true if emotional or physical survival was a priority, like in settings where domestic abuse or substance use issues occurred.
On the other hand, if you were surrounded by adults who modeled emotional intelligence and encouraged it in you, you might have developed this skill. Either way, building emotional intelligence can bring more satisfaction in your relationships.
Consider the following scenarios, and choose the answer that best describes your experiences.*
“I find it easy to name my emotions when I’m experiencing them.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“When I’m upset, I try to work through the emotion rather than avoid it.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I notice the emotions of others, even if they aren’t talking about them out loud.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I can tell when someone is uncomfortable or upset.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I try to help others through difficult times.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I don’t get defensive when someone points out my emotions.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I’m aware of how my mood impacts those around me.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I find it easy to empathize with people whose perspectives differ from my own.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
“I engage in self-care practices to help regulate my emotions.”
Yes, always
Sometimes
No, never
*_Quiz content written by Lolly Coleman, MS, LMFT._
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How to interpret your quiz results and next steps
Your quiz answers can serve as a helpful indicator to measure your emotional intelligence.
If you answered “Yes — always” to most questions
You likely have high emotional intelligence if your answers were mostly “Yes — always.” Your friends and family probably lean on you during difficult times or regularly seek you out for advice about their relationships. Being the emotional rock for people in your life may be a defining part of your personality. It can feel unnatural to not always be in “helper” mode.
But you can’t always be there for everyone. In fact, this can be a road toward emotional burnout or resentment. Setting healthy boundaries can prevent this outcome. That’s because boundaries can safeguard your mental health and ensure that you can support both your loved ones and yourself, especially during times of crisis.
If you answered “Sometimes” to most questions
There’s some room for growth when it comes to emotional intelligence if you answered “Sometimes” to most questions. Gathering feedback from friends and family can teach you what works well and refine what doesn’t.
To gain more insight on your emotional intelligence and opportunities to improve, consider asking questions, like:
“When you need support, in what ways am I helpful and unhelpful?”
“Do you feel safe coming to me with constructive criticism about my emotions and how they affect you?”
“When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, how do I usually behave?”
If you answered “No — never” to most questions
If you mostly answered “No — never” to the quiz questions, you can take steps to improve your emotional intelligence. Even by taking this quiz and becoming more aware of your relationship with your emotions, you’re already moving in the right direction.
And you don’t have to do it all alone. A therapist can help you identify what’s getting in your way and offer tools to strengthen this skill. They may also use evidence-based approaches, like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), to help you shift unhealthy thought patterns and improve your emotional responses.
One of the biggest misconceptions about emotional intelligence is that it’s just about being ‘nice’ or agreeable. In reality, emotional intelligence is about being in tune with your own emotions and the emotions of others. And using that awareness to respond in thoughtful, effective ways, not just to keep the peace or avoid conflict.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Clinical reviewer
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Emotional intelligence is key to successful relationships, emotional regulation, and understanding how your feelings affect others. If you want to know where your emotional intelligence stands, our quiz can be a good starting place.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
Siobhan Neela-Stock
Siobhan Neela-Stock is a writer and journalist who focuses on health, particularly mental health. She earned her master's in journalism from Northwestern University in 2018 and worked at Mashable for over two years where she focused on social good reporting.
Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, SELF, Fortune, Verywell Health, among other publications. Neela-Stock also teaches writing and journalism at several universities.
She enjoys traveling, dancing, playing dodgeball, and spending time with her loved ones.
Brandy Chalmers, LPC
Having faced challenges like childhood abuse, neglect, and the loss of her father to suicide, Brandy Chalmers is deeply passionate about providing compassionate care. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Registered Play Therapist with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy.
Brandy also teaches at a university, sharing her expertise with future mental health professionals. With over a decade of experience in settings like inpatient care and private practice, she specializes in helping clients with perfectionism, trauma, personality disorders, eating disorders, and life changes.
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