Why does depression feel comfortable or even good?

Key Takeaways

Millions of people live with depression. And, while it might sound counterintuitive, many people find comfort in the experience of depression.
Depression can feel comfortable because it’s become familiar, because it occurs alongside other mental health conditions, or because it causes emotional numbness that helps you cope with other difficult experiences.
Depression can make it difficult to connect with loved ones and enjoy life. But symptom management and healing are possible with the right support.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), an estimated 280 million people around the world live with depression. Depression can often cause emotional, psychological, physical, and social symptoms. People living with depression may feel unable to enjoy life or connect with those around them.

While depression is often a painful and challenging experience, it can also provide feelings of familiarity and comfort. If you spend weeks or months feeling sad or hopeless, changing this mindset can be daunting. You might want to make the changes needed to heal but find that remaining in your “depression comfort zone” feels safer than navigating the process toward recovery.

If you or a loved one are wondering, “Why does being depressed feel good?” you’re not alone. Many people may experience a sense of comfort in depression. But, with the right support, it’s possible to overcome being stuck in depression and get back to feeling like yourself.

Four reasons you may find comfort in depression

The prolonged emotional, mental, and behavioral patterns that come with depression can start to feel like your normal baseline.

There are several reasons that depression may feel good or safe, and understanding these reasons can be the first step toward healing.

1. Depression feels familiar

One of the main reasons that depression may feel comfortable is because of its familiarity.

If you’re living with depression, you may find yourself faced with challenges like low energy or a lack of interest in activities you used to enjoy. Although these are unpleasant and make it difficult to enjoy life to the fullest, with time, they can become a regular part of your mental landscape.

For many people, the idea of staying with the comfort of what they know can seem safer than confronting the unknown. Dealing with familiar symptoms and routines can feel more manageable than dealing with uncertainty.

2. Change can feel overwhelming

Depression can make you feel depleted — both physically and emotionally. When you’re already low on capacity because of how depression is impacting your brain, the idea of actively seeking recovery and healing may seem overwhelming.

Change requires effort, vulnerability, and motivation. And, at times, it may be challenging. All of this can feel extra daunting when coupled with mental health conditions like depression.

3. Reduced societal pressure

The pressure of meeting societal expectations can feel like a heavy weight on people with depression. But people who have depression may feel less obligated to meet the expectations (for achievements, productivity, etc.) that society and social opportunities place on them.

By withdrawing from societal expectations, a person may feel protected from criticism, judgment, and the stressors that come with engaging with others. They may find comfort in retreating into the symptoms of depression instead of engaging with the external pressures of society.

4. Depression often causes emotional numbness

Many people with depression experience what’s known as emotional numbness. Although emotional numbness makes it difficult to experience the joy in each day and connect with those you love, it can also provide a sense of protection against negative emotions.

The numbing effects of depression — even with their numerous drawbacks — can feel comfortable for some people, especially those navigating unresolved hurt or trauma in their lives.

Despite its downsides, this numbness can create a buffer against vulnerability, emotional pain, and the uncertainty of the unknown.

Stepping out of your comfort zone and into joy

Through meaningful, positive lifestyle changes, the adoption of healthy coping mechanisms, and professional guidance, symptom management is possible. Shaking off the comfort of depression and seeking recovery begins with small steps.

The following positive habits can help you get started on the path toward healing:

Regular exercise
Self-care
Balanced meals
Journaling
Mindfulness practices
Stress-reduction techniques

People navigating recovery should also build a support network of trusted loved ones or online communities. The isolation and withdrawal associated with depression can make it difficult to seek connection and recovery, but actively pursuing safe and trusting relationships with others can help. Support networks can also help you navigate depressive episodes.

Professional treatment can also be an essential part of overcoming depression. A qualified mental health professional who has experience treating depression can help you create a personalized treatment plan that takes into account your unique background and needs.

Find care with Rula

If you’re finding yourself feeling comfortable in the experience of depression, know that you’re not alone in this experience. With the right tools and support, healing from depression is possible.

With Rula’s therapist-matching platform, you can quickly find the right therapist for your unique needs who also accepts your insurance. And, our network of thousands of therapists means you can schedule your first appointment as soon as tomorrow.

About the author

Leslie Hughes

Leslie is a freelance writer who has written for Plunge, PYM (Prepare Your Mind) supplements, Tony Robbins’ Lifeforce products, Navitas Organics, Vital Red Light devices, Sameday Health, Inito Fertility Monitor, the InFlow ADHD app, Live Healthillie, and more. Leslie has lived with anxiety her whole life, but when her partner was diagnosed with terminal stage 3 brain cancer, it reached an unimaginable peak. Around this time, Leslie decided to dedicate herself to strengthening and supporting her mental health. This journey ignited a passion to help others, as she experienced the power of having the right tools and knowledge while navigating life’s challenges.

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Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness. Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.