Key Takeaways
- Dating apps are an increasingly popular way to meet potential romantic partners. But without healthy limits — like setting time boundaries, being mindful of emotional investment, and avoiding over-reliance on online interactions — they can take a toll on your mental health.
- For many people, dating apps can lead to feelings of rejection and body dissatisfaction and decrease their self-esteem.
- Setting boundaries around your dating app use, making time for in-person connections, taking breaks, and talking to a therapist (when needed) can help you protect your peace while you’re swiping.
If you’ve ever spent time on a dating app trying to build meaningful connections only to find yourself feeling lost, frustrated, or rejected, you may wonder whether dating apps are bad for your mental health. The answer to that question isn’t completely clear.
Dating apps are incredibly popular. A 2023 study found that 10% of partnered adults met their current significant other through a dating site or app. But that same study found that peoples’ experiences on dating apps can vary significantly. While about 53% of people report “very positive” or “somewhat positive” experiences on dating apps, about 46% report negative experiences.
Psychological effects of online dating
Online dating can be an emotional roller coaster. In the beginning, you might feel excited and hopeful, almost as if the perfect person for you is just a few swipes away. But, over time, you might start to lose steam.
Struggling to find matches, feeling like you’re being judged by everyone who views your profile, and experiencing repeated rejection can take a toll on your self-esteem. Research shows that these experiences can lead to an increased risk of stress, anxiety, and depression for people who use dating apps.
The care you need, when you need it
Learn how Rula can support your mental health journey
The role of algorithms in mental health
Dating apps have fundamentally changed the way we build romantic relationships. In the past, we relied on face-to-face encounters to get to know potential partners. In-person connections tend to provide more information than you can gather from a dating app, as most profiles only contain a few pictures and a brief introduction. Users are encouraged to use this limited information to quickly evaluate a person before moving on to the next swipe.
This format can force an overreliance on physical appearance in deciding whether you want to meet someone. It can also lead you to become hyperaware of your own appearance in the photos you share on the app. This can cause an increase in body dissatisfaction and appearance concerns that can negatively impact your mental health.
It’s also important to keep in mind that, like other social networks, dating apps are profit-driven businesses. They design their algorithms to keep you engaged for as long as possible. These apps often rely on large numbers of intrusive notifications and enticing messaging to foster a feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out).
If you find yourself having a hard time logging off from dating apps, know that it’s not just you. The euphoric feeling of a match is a form of instant gratification that can be hard to resist. But spending more and more time on a dating app can result in fatigue, overwhelm, a decline in mood, and decreased self-esteem.
Protecting your peace while swiping
Without healthy boundaries and limits, dating apps can negatively affect your mental health. Some ways to protect your peace while swiping include:
1. Keep things in perspective. Remember that your experience on a dating app doesn’t define you or dictate your self-worth. If you’re struggling with rejection or body image issues, use some positive affirmations, spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself, and engage in activities you enjoy that don’t involve dating.
2. Set some limits. If you’re not keeping track of how much time you spend on dating apps, it can be easy to overdo it. Set an hourly limit each week, and do your best to stick to it. It can also feel overwhelming to manage multiple connections at the same time. You may want to limit your active conversations to a number you feel comfortable with.
3. Don’t neglect IRL (in-real-life) experiences. Balance your online time with social activities that allow you to maintain your existing connections and make new ones. For example, volunteer for an organization with a mission you support, join a recreational sports league, or find other ways to connect with people who have similar interests.
4. Take breaks when you need to. If you’re feeling burned out, overwhelmed, or frustrated by your dating app experiences lately, don’t be afraid to take a break. Use the time to nurture your well-being and prioritize self-care. The apps will be there when you’re ready to return to them.
5. Ask for help. Dating apps can take a toll on your mental health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone and it’s OK to ask for help. Therapy can provide a safe space to process the challenges of online dating and take steps to repair your self-esteem. It can also help you overcome feelings of rejection, foster healthier technology habits, and learn skills to build meaningful connections both online and offline.
Therapy can help people navigate the emotional ups and downs of online dating by providing a safe space to explore feelings of rejection, anxiety, or self-doubt. A therapist can also help people set healthy boundaries, build self-esteem, and develop strategies to cope with the pressures of online dating.
Find care with Rula
Dating apps can make it easier to find potential partners you might not encounter in daily life. Today, approximately 10% of partnered people say they met their significant other online. However, dating apps can also have a downside. Without healthy boundaries in place, dating apps can increase your risk for depression, body dissatisfaction, and other mental health concerns.
So if you’re having a hard time navigating the highs and lows of online dating, don’t hesitate to ask for help. A therapist can help you rebuild your self-esteem, navigate rejection, and maintain a balanced perspective in your search for new relationships.
At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best.
Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.
About the author
Liz Talago
Liz Talago, M.ed. is a mental health professional turned content writer and strategist based in the Detroit metro area. As an independent consultant for mental health organizations, Liz creates meaningful connections between brands and their audiences through strategic storytelling. Liz is known for championing diverse perspectives within the mental health industry and translating bold ideas into inspiring, affirming digital experiences.
In her free time, you can find her hiking with her two German Shepherds, puttering around her dahlia garden, or spending time with her family.
Rula's editorial process
Rula's editorial team is on a mission to make science-backed mental health insights accessible and practical for every person seeking to better understand or improve mental wellness.
Members of Rula’s clinical leadership team and other expert providers contribute to all published content, offering guidance on themes and insights based on their firsthand experience in the field. Every piece of content is thoroughly reviewed by a clinician before publishing.
