The relationship between eating disorders and codependency

Codependency affects your ability to maintain healthy, mutually satisfying relationships. The term was originally used to describe relationships involving people with addictions. Now, it can refer to any relationship where one person is overly reliant on another for their emotional needs. 

People with codependency issues often fear rejection and crave approval from others. They may struggle with healthy boundaries, low self-esteem, and poor emotional regulation — all of which can create an increased risk for mental health conditions, including eating disorders.

How disordered eating relates to codependency

Research has found a possible link between codependency and disordered eating. People who are in a codependent relationship may be more likely to show signs of disordered eating, potentially as a coping method for stressful events and situations.

Disordered eating and codependency have been linked to similar risk factors, including adverse childhood experiences, insecure attachment styles, and certain personality traits. For example, research has found that childhood trauma may be a risk factor for developing an eating disorder. Similarly, experiencing abuse or neglect as a child may contribute to codependency later in life. Codependency has also been linked to growing up in an environment with excessive control, criticism, and perfectionism.

What codependency looks like with an eating disorder

Here are some ways that having an eating disorder while being in a codependent relationship can impact your behaviors, decisions, and quality of life.

• Self-esteem issues: Low self-esteem is a risk factor for eating disorders and is also common among people with codependency. For example, people who experience codependency often struggle with self-worth and base their identity on their relationships with others. Having low self-esteem can make it difficult to show yourself kindness and compassion.

• Desire for approval: People who experience codependency have an extreme need for approval and recognition. They’re prone to people-pleasing behaviors, and some people may use food or body image as a tool to gain validation in a relationship. For example, they might believe that losing weight or changing their appearance will help them feel seen or accepted by their partner. 

• Dysregulated emotions: Emotional dysregulation is when you have trouble managing intense emotions like fear, anger, and sadness. It’s common among people with codependent tendencies who never learned to express their emotions or develop emotional independence during childhood. When people don’t know how to effectively convey their feelings, they may resort to unhealthy habits, like binge eating and other disordered eating behaviors. Independently, emotional dysregulation has been established as a risk factor for all types of eating disorders.  

Five tips for establishing healthy relationships and support

Learning to manage an eating disorder requires self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. The same can be said for overcoming codependency. Here are five ways to help you develop healthier relationships with yourself and others. 

1. Consider your circumstances. Overcoming both codependency and an eating disorder starts with understanding and acceptance. If you have a history of codependency, ask yourself how your relationship may be contributing to harmful habits and behaviors like disordered eating. Conversely, reflect on how your attitude toward food and body image may be affecting the way you connect with or accept rejection from with others.
2. Prioritize your own needs. People in codependent relationships often struggle to prioritize their needs. Even if they know they need help with an eating disorder, they may avoid treatment because they don’t want to risk losing the connection or control in their relationship. However, the longer you wait to seek support for an eating disorder the more dangerous the condition can become. 
3. Set clear boundaries. Once you understand what it’ll take to feel your best, share those needs with others. Boundaries are an expression of self-respect designed to help people identify their limits, communicate their needs, and focus on their mental and physical health. For someone with an eating disorder, boundaries might involve avoiding triggering conversations about dieting or appearance.
4. Lean on your support system. One unhealthy relationship doesn’t have to determine how you connect with others. In fact, engaging with supportive friends, family, and communities can help you prioritize your health, relationships, and overall well-being.
5. Seek mental health support. Talk therapy is an effective solution for a range of mental health concerns, including both eating disorders and codependent relationships. Whether it’s individual therapy or couples therapy with your partner, therapy offers a space to address the root causes of your concerns, develop healthier coping methods, and build more empowering relationships.

Find care with Rula

Managing an eating disorder can be difficult, and it’s only made more complicated when coupled with codependency. Fortunately, it’s possible to understand and address both matters with professional mental health support. 

Rula makes it easier to find a therapist who takes your insurance and offers the specialized treatment you deserve. And our diverse network of therapists means you can receive care from the comfort of home as soon as tomorrow.

Get started with Rula today