How BPD and trauma are linked — and ways to start healing

Many people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have experienced trauma. Studies show that about 70% of people with BPD report adverse childhood experiences, like abuse, neglect, or loss. These early experiences can deeply affect emotional regulation, relationships, and how you see yourself.

While trauma is a significant factor, the causes of BPD are complex and not yet fully understood. Experts believe that BPD develops from a combination of influences, including environmental factors like early trauma. Other potential causes include genetics, brain structure and chemistry, and temperament. 

If you’re dealing with BPD, trauma therapy can help address these challenges, support healing, and teach you how to build healthier relationships with yourself and others. 

How trauma can lead to borderline personality disorder

BPD is closely linked to traumatic experiences — particularly those that occur during childhood. This early trauma can deeply affect your emotional development and attachment, leading to symptoms like an intense fear of abandonment, difficulty regulating emotions, unstable relationships, and impulsive behaviors.

The types of trauma most associated with BPD trauma include:

• Childhood trauma: Physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, and abandonment are commonly reported by people with BPD.
• Complex trauma: Repeated trauma or prolonged exposure to traumatic events, like chronic abuse or unstable caregiving, can significantly impact emotional regulation and relationships.
• Other trauma: While childhood and complex trauma are key risk factors, other traumas — including those that occur in adulthood — can also play a role in BPD development.

Childhood and complex trauma are particularly impactful because they happen during formative years. BPD isn’t officially classified as a trauma response, but it often develops as a way to cope with traumatic experiences.

Can you have BPD without trauma?

While trauma is significant, not everyone who experiences trauma develops BPD. If you haven’t experienced trauma, it doesn’t rule out the possibility of having BPD. Other contributing factors include:

• Genetics: If a parent or sibling has BPD, you may be more likely to develop it.
• Temperament: Certain personality traits or coping styles may make some people more likely to have BPD.
• Brain structure: Studies of the brains of people with BPD have shown increased activity in areas that control mood, self-control, and decision making. This heightened activity may be linked to the symptoms of BPD.
• Brain chemistry: Neurotransmitters, like serotonin, act as messengers in the brain. Imbalances in these chemicals can impact behavior and emotions, potentially increasing your risk of BPD. 

BPD can emerge from these factors even in the absence of trauma, and addressing these factors with trauma-informed therapy can help manage symptoms and improve interpersonal relationships.

BPD vs. trauma 

BPD and trauma — including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) — are connected, but they’re not the same. You may be wondering how exactly they differ. 

Here’s a simple breakdown of the differences between these three conditions:

1. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): If you experienced or witnessed a single traumatic event — like a car accident or assault — you might have flashbacks, avoid certain places or situations, or feel on edge all the time. For instance, after a car accident, you might feel anxious every time you drive past the crash site.
2. Complex PTSD (CPTSD): If you’ve gone through repeated or long-term trauma — like ongoing abuse or captivity — you might notice challenges with managing emotions, feel disconnected from yourself, or have difficulty maintaining relationships. For example, if you endured years of emotional neglect, you might find it hard to trust others, even in safe relationships.
3. Borderline personality disorder (BPD): If you have BPD, you might notice that you tend to have strong emotional swings, make impulsive decisions, or see things in extremes — like believing a friend is either your best supporter or someone who doesn’t care about you at all. Trauma can sometimes contribute to BPD, but it also involves patterns of behavior and thought that go beyond trauma responses.

In short, PTSD and CPTSD are trauma responses, while BPD is a broader personality disorder that may include trauma as a contributing factor but has distinct emotional and behavioral patterns. It’s also possible to have both BPD and a trauma disorder, as trauma can significantly influence the emotional instability seen in BPD. Research shows that up to 68% of people with PTSD also experience BPD.

This overlap can sometimes make it difficult to distinguish between the conditions and lead to misdiagnosis. This is why seeking help from a mental health professional is essential for an accurate diagnosis. A trained therapist can assess your symptoms and help determine the correct diagnosis, ensuring that you receive the most effective treatment tailored to your needs. 

Can BPD be a factor in trauma dumping?

Trauma dumping is when you share traumatic experiences in a way that may feel overwhelming or excessive to others. If you have BPD, you might sometimes engage in trauma dumping because you have trouble regulating your emotions and may seek validation or connection from others. This need for support can lead you to share your pain repeatedly — especially if you’re afraid of being abandoned or are having trouble with relationships.

Although trauma dumping isn’t a symptom of BPD, it can happen because of the emotional challenges tied to the condition. It’s important to know that it’s not about trying to manipulate others but more about expressing deep emotional distress. If you feel guilty afterward for burdening others or worry about pushing them away, remind yourself that your emotions are valid. Recognizing the behavior is a step toward learning healthier ways to share feelings without overwhelming yourself or others.

If you experience trauma dumping due to BPD, some strategies that may help include:

• Identify emotional triggers. Recognizing what leads to overwhelming emotions can help you address them before they lead to trauma dumping. For example, noticing that conflict in relationships may trigger intense feelings for you can help you manage those emotions before you share more than intended.
• Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present in the moment, reducing the intensity of emotions and preventing impulsive sharing. For instance, using deep breathing or focusing on your senses can help you calm yourself before you react emotionally.
• Set boundaries with yourself. Pausing before sharing can help you set boundaries related to oversharing. You could try setting a timer to wait a few minutes before speaking to evaluate if sharing feels right at that moment.
• Build a support network. Rely on a few trusted individuals who understand your challenges. Instead of sharing with everyone, reach out to people who are supportive and can listen without judgment. 
• Work with a therapist. Therapy provides tools for emotional regulation and healthy expression. A therapist might guide you in reframing your thoughts, helping you express your emotions constructively without overwhelming others.

These strategies can help you manage trauma dumping, promote healthier relationships, and improve emotional regulation.

Can trauma-informed therapy help with BPD?

Yes, trauma-informed therapy can be very helpful if you have BPD — especially because trauma is often a significant factor in developing the condition. Trauma therapy helps you understand how past traumatic experiences may have shaped your emotional responses, self-image, and relationships. By focusing on healing these past wounds, trauma-informed therapy can offer you tools to regulate your emotions, improve relationships, and break unhelpful patterns that are often part of BPD.

Trauma therapy works by addressing the root causes of emotional instability and relationship struggles, helping you gain insight into your feelings and behaviors. It can also teach you strategies to cope with overwhelming emotions, manage distress, and form healthier connections with others.

Here are three trauma-informed approaches to treating BPD:

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT helps you manage intense emotions and improve your relationships by teaching you coping strategies and mindfulness practices to regulate distressing feelings.
• Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): TF-CBT focuses on healing trauma by addressing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors linked to traumatic memories, helping you build healthier emotional responses.
• Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR helps people process traumatic memories by using guided eye movements to reprocess distressing memories and reduce emotional charge, supporting better emotional regulation and healing from trauma.

Find care with Rula

If you experience BPD and trauma, you may find it difficult to manage your emotions, fear being abandoned, or struggle with your self-image. These challenges, often linked to past trauma, can affect your relationships and emotional well-being. 

Trauma-informed treatment can help you work through past experiences, learn to manage intense emotions, and improve how you relate to others. With support and commitment, you can develop healthier relationships and emotional stability over time. Therapy helps create a safe space where you can understand and heal from the impact of trauma.

With the right care, you can understand how trauma affects your emotions and relationships, break unhelpful patterns, and build healthier connections with others. Rula makes it easy to find licensed therapists who accept your insurance, are open to new clients, and specialize in meeting your unique needs. With access to over 10,000 therapists, Rula is here to help you start your healing journey today.

Find a therapist with Rula