What causes attention-seeking behavior?

We all know someone who loves sharing endless selfies on social media or jumps into every conversation. We all want to feel noticed and valued, and it’s natural to crave attention occasionally.

But, in some cases, attention-seeking behavior may indicate deeper issues, like low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, or a mental health condition. When the need for validation becomes all-consuming and strains personal relationships, it can be a symptom of a personality disorder. 

A therapist who specializes in attention-seeking behavior and personality disorders can help uncover the root cause, provide healthy coping strategies, and support personal growth. 

Through a combination of talk therapy, self-help techniques, and (at times) medication, people with attention-seeking behaviors can learn to thrive without relying on others for attention and validation.

Signs of attention-seeking in adults

Attention-seeking behavior often begins in childhood as a response to unmet emotional needs. When unaddressed, these patterns can carry over into adulthood, becoming a coping strategy for unresolved feelings of loneliness or low self-esteem.

Attention-seeking behavior in adults can appear in different ways, depending on the underlying issues driving the behavior. Common signs of attention-seeking tendencies include:

• Oversharing personal information: Sharing intimate details or dramatic stories without regard for the context or appropriateness of the situation
• Fishing for compliments: Using self-deprecating remarks to elicit praise or reassurance
• Exaggerating experiences: Overdramatizing events and situations to evoke sympathy and attention from others
• Feeling unappreciated: Feeling upset or dissatisfied when you’re not the center of attention
• Using social media to receive affirmation: Going to great lengths to feel validated by receiving likes, comments, and followers
• Noticing strained relationships: Hearing from friends, family, or colleagues that they’re frustrated with your constant need for attention and validation
• Seeking validation from others: Feeling an uncontrollable need to seek approval from others, including strangers and acquaintances on social media

What causes attention-seeking behavior?

A desire to seek attention can be a result of many factors. Not every factor is negative, however if you express attention-seeking behaviors, it might be due to these common causes:     

• Emotional needs: People experiencing low self-esteem or loneliness often seek validation and recognition from others as a way to feel better about themselves.
• Trauma and unresolved issues: Traumatic experiences, particularly in childhood, can lead to attention-seeking behavior as a way to cope with unmet emotional needs or unresolved pain.
• Upbringing and childhood experiences: Inconsistent parenting, whether through neglect or praise tied to achievements or success, can result in attention-seeking tendencies.
• Excessive social media use: Studies suggest that the widespread use of social media and a tendency to overshare personal details may stem from a need to validate their desired self image. 

When attention-seeking behavior signals a mental health condition

Attention-seeking behavior can also be a sign of a mental health condition, like histrionic personality disorder (HPD) and other personality disorders. These mental health conditions are defined by exaggerated emotional displays and difficulty managing emotions in general. 

Some personality disorders that may involve attention-seeking behaviors include:

• Borderline personality disorder (BPD): This condition is marked by intense emotions and mood swings, and attention-seeking behavior in people with BPD tends to be intense and persistent and is likely linked to a fear of abandonment or rejection.
• Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): This mental health condition affects how you view yourself and relate to others due to self-preoccupation, need for admiration, and insensitivity to others. People with NPD often rely on attention and validation to maintain their self-image.
• Histrionic personality disorder (HPD): People with HPD crave being the center of attention and tend to base their self-esteem on the approval of others. They may feel depressed when not noticed, struggle with relationships, and constantly seek reassurance.

Signs that an attention-seeking behavior may indicate a personality disorder include:

• Constant need for admiration
• Feeling unappreciated or unhappy when not the center of attention
• Rapidly changing emotions
• Extreme sensitivity to criticism

Types of therapy that can address attention-seeking behavior

Breaking the cycle of attention-seeking behavior starts with self-awareness and being open to change. A therapist can help you uncover the underlying reasons behind your need for attention and validation.

Some forms of therapy that can help address attention-seeking behavior include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy fosters healthier coping skills and helps people identify and challenge negative thought patterns that drive attention-seeking behaviors.
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): Designed to treat those with intense emotions, DBT teaches mindfulness and emotional regulation.
• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): This approach shifts focus from receiving validation from others to finding fulfillment within yourself.

Other ways to break the cycle of attention-seeking behavior 

In addition to therapy, you can take proactive steps to build your self-awareness, boost your self-esteem, and find fulfillment within yourself by:

• Identifying your triggers: Reflect on the situations and emotions that prompt you to seek attention.
• Boosting self-esteem: Make a list of qualities you like about yourself and areas where you excel.
• Creating a compliment journal: Write down compliments you receive, and revisit them during moments of self-doubt.
• Joining a support group: Practice healthy communication, and learn to set boundaries in a supportive environment, either in-person or online.
• Focusing on emotional growth: Learn skills that can help you manage emotions, set boundaries, and improve communication.

Find care with Rula

Whether attention-seeking behavior is the result of low self-esteem, loneliness, or a personality disorder or other mental health condition, you don’t have to face it alone. 

At Rula, we believe everyone deserves timely, affordable access to specialized mental healthcare. Our therapist-matching platform connects you with providers trained in addressing your unique needs. With just a few clicks, you can choose from over 10,000+ therapists and start receiving personalized care via live video as soon as tomorrow.

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