Attention-seeking behaviors are when someone actively seeks to draw focus to themselves. This can include excessive talking, interrupting others, or exaggerating achievements.
These behaviors often stem from a deep need for validation, connection, or reassurance.
In some cases, attention-seeking behavior can signal deeper emotional struggles or unresolved trauma. These behaviors might also stem from mental health conditions, like personality disorders.
We all know someone who loves posting selfies or jumping into every conversation. It’s human to want attention — everyone wants to feel seen and valued sometimes.
But when that need for validation starts taking over your thoughts or relationships, it may signal something deeper. Attention-seeking behavior can stem from low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, or certain mental health conditions. The good news is that help is available. With the right support, you can uncover what’s driving the behavior and learn healthier ways to feel secure.
A therapist who specializes in attention-seeking behavior can help you understand the root cause, develop coping skills, and build confidence that doesn’t depend on others. Through talk therapy, self-help tools, and sometimes medication, many people learn to thrive without relying on external validation.
Signs of attention-seeking in adults
Understanding the psychology of attention-seeking behavior can help explain why these patterns appear in adulthood and how they impact relationships. Attention-seeking behavior often begins in childhood as a response to unmet emotional needs. When unaddressed, these patterns can carry over into adulthood, becoming a coping strategy for unresolved feelings of loneliness or low self-esteem.
Attention-seeking behavior in adults can appear in different ways, depending on the underlying issues driving the behavior. Common signs of attention-seeking tendencies include:
Oversharing personal information: Sharing intimate details or dramatic stories without regard for the context or appropriateness of the situation
Fishing for compliments: Using self-deprecating remarks to elicit praise or reassurance
Exaggerating experiences: Overdramatizing events and situations to evoke sympathy and attention from others
Feeling unappreciated: Feeling upset or dissatisfied when you’re not the center of attention
Using social media to receive affirmation: Going to great lengths to feel validated by receiving likes, comments, and followers
Noticing strained relationships: Hearing from friends, family, or colleagues that they’re frustrated with your constant need for attention and validation
Seeking validation from others: Feeling an uncontrollable need to seek approval from others, including strangers and acquaintances on social media
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What causes attention-seeking behavior?
A desire to seek attention can be a result of many factors. Not every factor is negative, however if you express attention-seeking behaviors, it might be due to these common causes:
Emotional needs: People experiencing low self-esteem or loneliness often seek validation and recognition from others as a way to feel better about themselves.
Trauma and unresolved issues: Traumatic experiences, particularly in childhood, can lead to attention-seeking behavior as a way to cope with unmet emotional needs or unresolved pain.
Upbringing and childhood experiences: Inconsistent parenting, whether through neglect or praise tied to achievements or success, can result in attention-seeking tendencies.
Excessive social media use: Studies suggest that the widespread use of social media and a tendency to overshare personal details may stem from a need to validate their desired self image.
Many people don’t know that attention-seeking behavior stems from unmet needs. It can seem like the person may be overly self-centered, but these behaviors can often be a way to get validation from others and fulfill the needs that weren’t met during childhood.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Clinical reviewer
Is attention-seeking a mental health condition?
Attention-seeking behavior itself isn’t a mental health condition. However, it can sometimes be a sign of a mental health condition, like histrionic personality disorder (HPD) and other personality disorders. These mental health conditions are defined by exaggerated emotional displays and difficulty managing emotions in general.
Some personality disorders that may involve attention-seeking behaviors include:
Borderline personality disorder (BPD): This condition is marked by intense emotions and mood swings, and attention-seeking behavior in people with BPD tends to be intense and persistent and is likely linked to a fear of abandonment or rejection.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): This mental health condition affects how you view yourself and relate to others due to self-preoccupation, need for admiration, and insensitivity to others. People with NPD often rely on attention and validation to maintain their self-image.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD): People with HPD crave being the center of attention and tend to base their self-esteem on the approval of others. They may feel depressed when not noticed, struggle with relationships, and constantly seek reassurance.
Signs that an attention-seeking behavior may indicate a personality disorder include:
Constant need for admiration
Feeling unappreciated or unhappy when not the center of attention
Rapidly changing emotions
Extreme sensitivity to criticism
Types of therapy that can address attention-seeking behavior
Breaking the cycle of attention-seeking behavior starts with self-awareness and being open to change. A therapist can help you uncover the underlying reasons behind your need for attention and validation.
Some forms of therapy that can help address attention-seeking behavior include:
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy fosters healthier coping skills and helps people identify and challenge negative thought patterns that drive attention-seeking behaviors.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): Designed to treat those with intense emotions, DBT teaches mindfulness and emotional regulation.
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): This approach shifts focus from receiving validation from others to finding fulfillment within yourself.
Other ways to break the cycle of attention-seeking behavior
In addition to therapy, you can take proactive steps to build your self-awareness, boost your self-esteem, and find fulfillment within yourself by:
Identifying your triggers: Reflect on the situations and emotions that prompt you to seek attention.
Boosting self-esteem: Make a list of qualities you like about yourself and areas where you excel.
Creating a compliment journal: Write down compliments you receive, and revisit them during moments of self-doubt.
Joining a support group: Practice healthy communication, and learn to set boundaries in a supportive environment, either in-person or online.
Focusing on emotional growth: Learn skills that can help you manage emotions, set boundaries, and improve communication.
Find care with Rula
Whether attention-seeking behavior is the result of low self-esteem, loneliness, or a personality disorder or other mental health condition, you don’t have to face it alone.
At Rula, we believe everyone deserves timely, affordable access to specialized mental healthcare. Our therapist-matching platform connects you with providers trained in addressing your unique needs. With just a few clicks, you can choose from over 15,000+ therapists and start receiving personalized care via live video as soon as tomorrow.
Linda Childers
Linda is an award-winning medical writer with experience writing for major media outlets, health companies, hospitals, and both consumer and trade print and digital outlets.
Her articles have appeared in the Washington Post, USA Today, WebMD, AARP, Brain+Life, HealthyWomen.org, The Rheumatologist, California Health Report, Everyday Health, HealthCentral, and many other media outlets.
While juggling the responsibilities of being part of the “sandwich generation” and caring for both her toddler son and terminally ill mother, a nurse friend encouraged her to seek therapy, which helped her to learn coping strategies and manage her depression. Linda hopes her work will help to destigmatize mental health conditions and encourage others to get the help they need.
Ashley Ayala, LMFT
Ashley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in generational healing and family dynamics. Ashley has worked in schools, clinics, and in private practice. She believes that people’s relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, greatly shape our experiences in life.
Ashley is committed to empowering others to show up authentically and deepen their self understanding. This passion stems from taking a critical lens on her own life story and doing inner healing. One of her favorite quotes is “Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.”
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