Teen anger management: 5 tips for healthy self-expression

Key Takeaways

Anger is a normal human emotion. But when teens don’t know how to manage or control their emotions, that anger can become a problem.

In some cases, uncontrolled anger may be a sign of a bigger issue, like being bullied at school or an underlying mental health condition.

Learning how to control your anger is important for emotional development. Some practical tips for teens include cultivating self-awareness, finding healthy outlets for your feelings, and leaning on your support system.

The teenage years don’t last forever, but they can leave a lasting impact on the type of person you become. As a teen, you’re faced with questions about your identity, expectations, and goals. You learn to become more independent, while still following rules at home and school.

Throughout this period, teens are bound to experience a wide range of feelings and emotions — including anger. And while anger is a normal human emotion, it can become harmful when you don’t know how to effectively communicate and manage your feelings.

Five anger management techniques for teens

Whether your anger is typical teen angst or related to a deeper concern, learning how to process and manage your feelings is important for emotional development. Here are five practical anger management techniques for teens.

1. Focus on self-awareness

Reflecting on your anger can help you learn more about your triggers, reactions, and any harmful behavior patterns. For example, feeling scared, ashamed, or misunderstood can all be triggering for teens.

Here are some questions to help increase your self-awareness:

Where does my anger come from?
What situations cause these feelings?
How do I usually express my anger?
Are there any physical sensations that accompany the anger?
Do I control my emotions, or do they control me?

2. Learn to self-soothe

Self-soothing is a coping strategy that can help you remain calm during difficult moments. If you struggle with anger management, self-soothing can create distance from unwanted thoughts, emotions, and impulses. Self-soothing may look different for everyone but can include activities like listening to a calming playlist, spending time with your pet, and going for a walk.

Progressive muscle relaxation also helps with managing anger. To try at home, find a seated position, and take several deep breaths. Tense the muscles in your toes for 5 to 10 seconds, then relax for 15 to 30 seconds. Continue with each muscle group, slowly working your way from your toes to your head.

3. Find other outlets for your anger

Everyone reacts to anger differently. Some people externally express their anger by yelling, throwing things, and picking fights, while other people take it out on themselves through self-blame, self-harm, and isolation.

Next time you find yourself getting angry, consider alternative outlets for processing your emotions. Instead of allowing the anger to take over, use it as a tool to better understand who you are, what you care about, and what’s missing in your life. Healthy forms of self-expression include journaling, creating art, writing music, and even having a conversation with a friend.

4. Lean on family and friends

Social support is an important resource for teens when they’re angry. Whether you failed a final exam or got in a fight with your best friend, having access to a strong support system can help you feel seen and understood. Having social support can also help you lower your stress levels, make better choices, and engage in fewer risky behaviors.

5. Know when to get professional help

If your anger is starting to affect your quality of life, consider talking to your parents about meeting with a mental health professional. Talk therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you identify the source of your anger, challenge harmful thoughts, and develop healthier coping skills.

What causes teen anger?

You may notice anger as the primary emotion, but there are other emotions that often come secondary and accompany it. These may include stress, frustration, disappointment, impatience, and surprise. Teens get angry just like anyone else, but there are several factors that place them at higher risk for more extreme emotions and reactions. These factors include:

Hormones: Hormones, including testosterone and estrogen, are responsible for physical changes, like acne and growth spurts. But they also affect how teens feel, leading to mood swings, irritability, and strong emotions like anger.

Brain development: A person’s prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for problem solving and restraint, isn’t fully developed until they’re in their mid-to-late twenties. Since teenagers are still growing, they may be more likely to act on overwhelming feelings and emotions.

Added stress: Being a teenager can be stressful. Between increased academic expectations, social pressure, and family dynamics, it’s normal for teens to sometimes experience frustration or anger with these major life changes.

How to recognize healthy vs. unhealthy anger

Anger is a natural emotional state that exists on a spectrum, ranging from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. People with consistent and debilitating anger reactions experience more frequent, intense, and enduring anger episodes than people with manageable anger reactions.

Another major difference between healthy and unhealthy anger management is knowing how to express and control it. Research shows that uncontrolled anger can have a negative effect on a person’s mental and physical health.

Here are some other signs that your anger is becoming a problem:

You feel angry often.
You express your anger in unsafe or unhealthy ways.
Your anger sometimes feels out of your control.
Your anger is affecting your relationships or quality of life.
Your anger hurts other people.

In some cases, anger may indicate a more serious mental health concern. For example, irritability and emotional dysregulation can be signs of a mental health condition, like depression, anxiety, or a substance use disorder. Unexplained anger may also be a reaction to experiencing trauma or abuse.

Find care with Rula

Anger is considered a normal and healthy form of self-expression for teens. But in some cases, it may be an indicator of an underlying mental health concern.

At Rula, we’re committed to helping teens and their parents quickly and easily find a mental health provider who takes their insurance and specializes in working with young adults. Rula’s diverse network of therapists means you can be seen this week from the comfort of your home in a convenient online appointment.