Key Takeaways
- People with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) often experience nonlinear thinking and sluggish cognitive tempo. This can get them caught in spirals of negative thinking.
- These negative thinking patterns could contribute to poor self-esteem, which affects people with ADHD at much higher rates.
- By working with a therapist, you can learn how to challenge these negative thoughts and treat yourself more compassionately.
Living with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can affect your life in all sorts of ways. One common experience for people with ADHD is negative thinking, or rumination. If you have ADHD, you might get stuck in negative thinking — especially about yourself — because of the way ADHD affects your brain. This negative self-talk could also be a result of poor self-esteem, which people with ADHD are more likely to be affected by.
But there are ways to get out of these negative spirals, change your self-talk to be more positive, and strengthen your self-esteem. Working with a therapist can also help you reframe negative thoughts to be more accurate and helpful.
How do people with ADHD think?
ADHD is a form of neurodivergence, which means your brain works differently than people who are considered neurotypical. That doesn’t mean your brain is “worse” — human brains work on a wide spectrum (a concept called neurodiversity), and these differences should be celebrated.
If you live with ADHD, you have differences in certain areas of your brain. These include the parts of your brain that are responsible for executive functioning, which are complex skills like reasoning, impulse control, and internal motivation.
Because of these differences, you may notice that you tend to think differently than people who don’t live with ADHD. People with ADHD often have a hard time with linear thinking, or thinking in a step-by-step, logical flow. You might be more likely to experience associative thinking, or jumping from one thought to another. These thoughts might not seem connected to neurotypical people, but that’s what makes people with ADHD such great problem solvers — you’re able to think outside of the box.
ADHD is also highly linked with sluggish cognitive tempo, which is a condition characterized by a difficulty in keeping your thoughts on the task at hand. Some common features of sluggish cognitive tempo include daydreaming, mind wandering, rumination, and more — all things that people with ADHD (especially inattentive ADHD) tend to experience, although it’s important to note that ADHD and sluggish cognitive tempo are distinct conditions.
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How can ADHD cause negative thinking?
Negative thinking isn’t a recognized symptom of ADHD. At the same time, many people with ADHD report experiencing increased rates of rumination and negative self-talk. And research shows that people with ADHD tend to experience low self-esteem at higher rates than people who don’t live with ADHD. This — combined with the tendency for people with ADHD to experience sluggish cognitive tempo — can lead you to get stuck in cycles of rumination and negative thinking.
You might experience negative self-talk as a result of your ADHD symptoms themselves.
For example, you might have forgotten an important appointment with a friend and be hard on yourself about it. You might have negative thoughts about yourself like, “Why am I so careless? I’m a terrible friend. Now they’re going to think I don’t care about them.” Or you may have been unable to meet a deadline at work and have thoughts like, “I’m so stupid. I’ll never get anywhere in my career if I keep messing up like this.”
But you could also experience negative thinking and rumination about anything, simply because your mind is wandering so much. While you’re at work, instead of focusing on the task in front of you, you could be lost in unrelated thoughts like, “That was such a crazy thing that happened yesterday. Why did I get so mad at them?” or, “What am I going to do about that hard project next week?”
In addition, it’s important to remember that everyone experiences negative thoughts sometimes. So these thoughts might not have anything to do with your ADHD at all. Or they might be more related to co-existing mental health conditions you might have, like depression or anxiety.
How to challenge negative self-talk
If you experience negative thinking or self-talk related to ADHD, there are ways to challenge these thoughts and replace them with more helpful ones that are better for your self-esteem.
Acknowledge your thoughts
First, try to practice becoming more aware of any negative thoughts you might be having. You might even consider starting a journal or thought log in which you jot down the negative thoughts you’re having and what triggered them. Don’t ruminate on these thoughts; just take a moment to notice that you’re having them. Awareness can help you break the cycle of rumination.
Practice self-compassion
Use self-compassion to give yourself some grace when you’re experiencing negative thoughts. Give yourself the same kindness that you ’d give to a friend if they were in your position. For example, you might have misplaced an important document and started experiencing self-talk like, “I’m so careless. This mistake is going to cost me so much money and time. How could I have lost it?”
But you likely wouldn’t talk to a friend in the same way. Think about what you’d say to your friend, and talk to yourself with the same words and tone. For example, you might say something like, “Everyone makes mistakes and loses things sometimes. That doesn’t make me stupid. What I need to do now is to figure out a plan to move forward.”
Recognize your strengths
You can also try getting in the habit of consistently recognizing your strengths. This could help you to be more resilient in the face of life’s challenges and less likely to get stuck in a spiral of negative self-talk when you come up against obstacles. Try to regularly practice recognizing your strengths, even if you’re not experiencing negative thoughts.
For example, you can start a journal in which you write down your accomplishments of each day — even small steps of progress. Or you can use positive affirmations and repeat to yourself the strengths that you know you have (even when you’re not feeling confident about them).
Restructure negative thoughts
One of the most common therapy methods used for low self-esteem and negative thinking is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). One CBT technique often used for anxiety and stress reduction is cognitive restructuring. It’s a way to identify the thoughts that may be causing you to feel more stressed and replace or reframe them with more helpful or accurate thoughts.
You can practice this on your own. For example, if you have the thought, “I’m so stupid. I always do this,” you can recognize it as a negative (and probably untrue) thought and try replacing it with something more accurate, like, “I don’t always do this. I do forget things often. That’s because I live with ADHD, not because I’m stupid. I’m allowed to make mistakes.”
Work with a therapist
Lastly, working with a therapist can help you learn more about ADHD and how it affects your brain. Being equipped with more information can help you be kinder to yourself about the ways ADHD shows up in your life. A therapist can also provide you with a safe place to explore your thoughts, feelings, and any other past experiences that may have led to negative self-talk for you.
A therapist can help you bring more awareness to when you’re thinking or talking to yourself negatively and replace these thoughts with more helpful and self-compassionate ones.
Recognize when your thoughts start looping, and gently shift focus to the present through grounding techniques. With practice and self-compassion, you can train your brain to break free from overthinking and negative self-talk.
Find care with Rula
Even though negative thinking isn’t a recognized symptom of ADHD, many people who live with ADHD are deeply familiar with it. When you have ADHD, it can become easy to ruminate and get stuck in spirals of negative thoughts. You might judge yourself for mistakes and engage in unkind self-talk, which can contribute to poor self-esteem.
By working with a skilled mental health therapist, you get a safe space to explore these patterns of negative thoughts and learn how to be more confident in yourself. At Rula, we have a network of over 10,000 therapists who have clinical expertise in a wide range of mental health areas, including ADHD. You can make an appointment as soon as tomorrow to start working through these concerns.
About the author
Saya Des Marais
Saya graduated with her Master in Social Work (MSW) with a concentration in mental health from the University of Southern California in 2010. She formerly worked as a therapist and motivational interviewing trainer in community clinics, public schools, mental health startups, and more.
Her writing has been featured in FORTUNE, GoodRX, PsychCentral, and dozens of mental health apps and therapy websites. Through both her clinical work and her personal OCD diagnosis, she’s learned the importance of making empathetic and accurate mental health content available online.
She lives in Portland, Oregon but you can find her almost just as often in Mexico or in her birthplace, Tokyo.
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