Can getting frustrated be a sign of ADHD?

The most common signs of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are hyperactivity, inattentiveness, and impulsivity. But those aren’t the only ones. While it’s not recognized as an official symptom of the condition, most people with ADHD experience emotional dysregulation in some form. For example, they may experience low frustration tolerance (getting frustrated quickly and easily) or increased irritability.

Everyone gets frustrated sometimes. When we’re stressed or not feeling our best, we might lose patience with ourselves or others and do or say something we might later regret. Being frustrated is a natural part of the human experience and not necessarily an indicator that someone has a mental health condition. However, if you’re experiencing frequent frustration that’s difficult to control and/or impacting your daily life, it could indicate the presence of a mental health condition like ADHD.

Fortunately, with the right support, people with ADHD can strengthen their self-regulation skills and learn healthy ways to cope with stress.

When frustration may signal ADHD

Just like anyone else, people with ADHD can experience frustration in all sorts of scenarios. But frustration might be more likely to bubble up in moments when they’re faced with a flood of uncomfortable emotions or stressors they don’t have the skills to navigate. Without support, people with ADHD may not have the ability to set their emotions aside, so this experience can feel unbearable. 

Here are some examples of when this might occur:  

• A child with ADHD has a book report due at school tomorrow. They’ve been staring at their computer, trying to get started, but they just can’t seem to get going. They feel like they don’t know what to write about and don’t understand their teacher’s instructions. When their frustration peaks, they slam their laptop shut, shouting, “I just can’t do this!”
• A parent of a teen with ADHD has been asking them to clean their room for weeks. The clutter is getting overwhelming, and the teen is having trouble finding items they need for school and athletic practice. Finally, the parent confronts the teen and says that, unless their room is cleaned today, they’ll be grounded. In response, the teen bursts into tears and slams the door.
• An adult with ADHD has been assigned a new project at work. First, they have to download a new computer program and learn to use it. However, after multiple attempts, they can’t seem to get the program to load. As the hours go by and they realize they’re getting further and further behind for the day, their frustration peaks. They burst into their boss’ office to ask to be taken off the project.

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Why people with ADHD can get frustrated easily

One of the most challenging things about ADHD-induced frustration is that it’s easily misunderstood. For example, someone who’s unfamiliar with ADHD might mistakenly think that the people in the examples above are just lazy, overreacting, or angry. But this isn’t usually the case. People with ADHD get easily frustrated due to the unique ways their brains are wired.

ADHD affects the limbic system, the part of the brain that creates emotions like fear, pleasure, and anger. When you experience an emotion, your limbic system connects with the prefrontal cortex. This is the part of your brain that regulates emotions. The prefrontal cortex can “pump the breaks” and allow you to pause to consider the best ways to react to a feeling in a given situation.

However, for people with ADHD, the connection between the limbic system and prefrontal cortex may be less stable. So, when they experience strong emotions, their prefrontal cortex doesn’t give them a chance to “pump the breaks” before they respond. This can cause heightened frustration and other uncomfortable feelings, which, in turn, can lead to outbursts. 

Ways to increase your frustration tolerance

The good news is that with some time and practice, you can increase your frustration tolerance. Keep in mind that the goal isn’t to never experience frustration again. It’s to figure out how to improve your ability to tolerate discomfort, regulate strong emotions, and learn to respond to them in healthy ways. 

Here are some tips that may help:

• Make a list of your go-to coping skills (and add new ideas when you have them). Think about what makes you feel better when you’re feeling frustrated or upset. It could be anything from kickboxing to journaling to listening to music. A tangible list of your favorite healthy coping strategies can be a helpful resource in difficult moments.
• Monitor your stress levels, and learn your triggers. Consider what happens in your mind and body when you’re feeling extra stressed. Learning these clues may take some time. But knowing when an outburst might be more likely to occur can give you a chance to “pump the breaks” and avoid making a reactive choice.
• Prioritize your physical well-being. Taking good care of your body by getting adequate rest, eating a balanced diet, and making time for movement you enjoy can help you strengthen your mental health and regulate your emotions. 
• Practice Identifying your feelings early on. When you’re able to identify your feelings and verbalize them, it helps your brain and body begin to regulate themselves. Think of the mantra “name it to tame it.” Once you call out your feelings toward the situation, you can begin to work through those feelings.

Managing ADHD and frustration with treatment

Some people with ADHD may be able to improve their frustration tolerance using the tips listed above. But others will also need professional help to manage their symptoms. If you or someone you care about is experiencing frustration that’s difficult to manage, the following supports can help:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is designed to help people uncover the connections between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For someone experiencing low frustration tolerance, CBT could help them challenge “thinking traps,” like self-criticism, exaggerating, or assuming the worst will happen.
• Dialectical and behavioral therapy (DBT): DBT teaches distress tolerance, emotion regulation, mindfulness, and interpersonal skills. It’s similar to CBT but adds a focus on validation and accepting uncomfortable emotions. All of these can help you learn to handle frustration better in a variety of situations.
• Social skills training: Social skills groups can help people learn to recognize emotions and practice responding to them in healthy ways. They can also provide the opportunity to receive helpful feedback in real time in a supportive environment.
• Medication: Certain medications may help people with ADHD regulate their emotions. You can talk to your provider about whether this might be the right option for you.

Find care with Rula

Low frustration tolerance is a common challenge for people with ADHD due to the unique way their brains are wired. Left untreated, it can impact a person’s ability to succeed at work or school and negatively affect their relationships. Fortunately, with the right support, people with ADHD can strengthen their self-regulation skills and learn to manage uncomfortable emotions in healthy ways.

At Rula, we’re committed to delivering a comprehensive behavioral health experience that helps people feel seen and understood so they can get back to feeling their best. 

Rula makes it easier to find a licensed therapist or psychiatric provider who accepts your insurance so you don’t have to choose between affordable care and excellent care. With a diverse network of more than 15,000 providers, 24/7 crisis support, and appointments available as soon as tomorrow, we’re here to help you make progress — wherever you are on your mental health journey.

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