How to help a child with ADHD build better impulse control

If you spend time with children, you know they struggle to control their behavior sometimes. They might blurt out an answer in class before being called on by their teacher, leap off the top of the slide without thinking about getting hurt, or push someone out of the way because they want to be first in line for a treat. 

Just like adults, kids can act impulsively. They do or say things without thinking about what could happen afterward or how it could affect others. Children don’t come into the world automatically knowing how to control their behavior or express their feelings. These are skills that all children need to learn over time. 

However, for children with ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder), impulsivity can be a greater challenge. This means they may need some additional support as they learn to practice self-control in different environments.

How can ADHD affect impulse control?

Impulsivity is easy to misunderstand. On the surface, it can be seen as a lack of self-awareness or self-control. It can also look like a sign of rudeness or a lack of concern for others. But for children with ADHD, impulsivity isn’t a choice or a character flaw. It’s the result of differences in the ways their brains work. 

Children with ADHD may have trouble slowing down and thinking about their choices because of their unique neurobiology. Specifically, their brains don’t send the same warning signals to stop, slow down, or consider consequences that someone without ADHD might. Clinically, this is known as impaired response inhibition, and it can lead to things like:

• Making a comment that could embarrass someone or hurt their feelings
• Taking unnecessary risks that could hurt themselves or others
• Expressing big emotions like anger or frustration in unsafe or inappropriate ways
• Frequently lying as a coping mechanism
• Having trouble waiting their turn
• Interrupting people when they’re speaking
• Knocking things down or pushing people out of the way

While these examples can help illustrate what impulsivity can look like in children with ADHD, there are a few caveats to keep in mind. 

First, there are three different types of ADHD: the inattentive type, the hyperactive-impulsive type, and the mixed type. While impulsivity is a key trait in the hyperactive-impulsive type, having the occasional struggle with impulse control doesn’t mean your child has a mental health condition. Often, it’s a developmentally appropriate behavior and not necessarily cause for concern. 

Also, impulsivity is just one symptom of ADHD. A variety of other symptoms must be present to warrant an ADHD diagnosis. However, if you notice an ongoing pattern of impulsivity in your child, you may wish to consider a professional evaluation. 

Left untreated, ADHD can negatively impact a child’s home life, academic performance, and ability to keep and make friends. But with the right support, know that your child can learn skills to manage their emotions and behavior.

Six strategies for reducing impulsivity in children with ADHD

Parents, educators, and other supportive adults can all play a role in promoting positive behavior change in children. You can help reduce impulsivity in a child in your life using the following strategies.

• Name your feelings. Children don’t always have the emotional vocabulary to express themselves. So when something happens to elicit big feelings, they may act out impulsively. You can help prevent this by regularly naming your own feelings out loud. For example, you can say something like, “I was looking forward to drinking that cup of coffee. I feel so frustrated that I spilled the whole thing!” 
• Teach problem-solving skills. Help your child get into the habit of brainstorming multiple solutions to the challenges they encounter. That way, when something goes wrong, they have some other ideas they can try before getting upset. 
• Practice stress-reduction strategies. When stress levels run high, there’s a greater risk of impulsive behavior for adults and children alike. So look for ways to incorporate stress-management strategies like deep breathing or counting to 10 into your child’s daily routine.
• Create clear, consistent expectations. Make sure your child knows the rules for different environments, and provide lots of positive reinforcements when they follow them. For example, talk about the importance of waiting their turn in the lunch line, using an inside voice at the library, and taking turns with toys when playing with friends.
• Have fun with it. Group games like red light, green light, follow the leader, or board games like Jenga are great ways to teach self-control while having fun at the same time. Encourage your child to take turns being the follower and leader, and offer recognition when they make a positive choice.
• Ask for help. If you’re concerned that a child in your life may have ADHD, working with a therapist or school-based mental health professional can help. There are providers who specialize in supporting children with ADHD and other mental health concerns.  

Find care with Rula

Impulsivity is often a normal part of childhood development. But when it’s pervasive and ongoing, it could be a sign of ADHD. Left untreated, impulsivity can cause challenges in many aspects of a child’s life. It can make it difficult to learn, make friends, and impact safety. 

Fortunately, with support from a mental health professional and other caring adults, children with ADHD can learn to self-regulate. When your child needs mental health care you can access at a time and place that’s convenient for your family, we invite you to explore Rula. With our therapist-matching program, you can find a provider who takes your insurance and schedule your child’s first appointment in just a few clicks. Whether your child needs therapy, medication, or both, Rula can help you start the process as soon as tomorrow.

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