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My name is Dr. Robbert Schalekamp, and I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) based in Sherman Oaks and working with clients statewide through telehealth. I work with adults using psychodynamic and family systems theories. My specialization is gay and bisexual men.
My approach
I help clients explore patterns in their life, which ones they can change and which ones they might need to accept. I use my personal and professional background to understand what life might feel like to them and why they made the choices they did. I draw mainly on psychodynamic and family systems. Additionally, I use techniques from cognitive behavioral and solution focused therapy.
My focus
Many of my clients are people in their forties or older who want to make sense of their life and its transitions: where they come from, where they are and where they are going. They may have specific issues, or they may need to sort things out, and find a (renewed) sense of purpose. Their history might include trauma in childhood or later in life as well as various losses. Depression and anxiety often show up as part of the work. As many of my clients are gay men, some issues are directly related to their sexual orientation. More often the connection to their sexuality is indirect. Their lived experience as gay men impacts how they deal with many of life's issues, such as ageing parents, choosing to have children, work, and finances.
My communication style
I listen carefully to what my clients are saying as well as communicating nonverbally. I validate their experience, ask questions, and give feedback. Many of my clients have told me that they experience me as nonjudgmental, which makes it safe for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
My journey to mental healthcare
Over my lifetime, I have been exposed to a wide range of experiences, including complicated family dynamics, being gay, being bicultural (having lived and worked half my life in the Netherlands and half in the USA), immigration issues, and a midlife career change from HR to Psychotherapy. Thanks to empathy and curiosity I have been able to navigate these experiences and incorporate them in my work as a psychotherapist. I thrive on seeing clients improve their life.
My goals for you
During the intake I ask clients to imagine what they want their life to look like and how therapy can help with that. Together we identify possible milestones. Once clients become more aware of their underlying issues, their ideas about what they want to get out of therapy might change. Therefore, I tend to avoid goals that are very specific at the outset.
My first session with you
I prefer open-ended questions about what brings my clients in. Often the response is elaborate and contains the answers to many of the specific things I need to know. Usually, I follow up with specific questions to complete the intake.
